If you think you’ve got problems, try this one on for size: You’re a Texas politician who runs for the U.S. Senate against Ted Cruz, and the media loves you. Absolutely adores you. To them, you’re a rock star! You can do no wrong. Every moment of your campaign gets glowing media coverage, from riding a skateboard outside Whataburger to air-drumming in your car outside Whataburger. It’s a wonderful affirmation of your value as a human being and the savior of the Democratic Party.
Then… you lose.
So you do what anybody would do in your situation. You dismiss all the rumors that you’re going to run for president, and then you run for president.
And now, all the people who kissed your butt have decided to start kicking it. You’re not cool anymore. You’re a weirdo. You’re a drunk. You’re a furry. You’re a slacker. You’re a loser. Mayor Pete is younger, and smarter, and gayer. Kamala is both black and a woman, so now you’re expected to apologize for running against her. You even find yourself begging for forgiveness because you let Annie Leibovitz take your picture. Everybody’s picking on you all of a sudden, and it’s just not fair.
So you say enough. Enough. It’s time for Team Beto to fight back!
Beto O’Rourke’s team and supporters think the narrative around their campaign is bunk…
“The media bashed this guy because he didn’t do their bull$#!+ dog and pony show,” Boyd Brown, a former South Carolina Democratic state lawmaker who backed O’Rourke early told The Daily Beast. “Morning Joe, they want you to do their circuit. They repeat the stuff they hear at their cocktail parties in Greenwich and the Hamptons over the weekend. And they come back and think everybody’s going to agree to all the inside-the-beltway bull$#!+ that they listen to day in and day out…”
O’Rourke himself believes that his policy rollouts are resonating with the public, including detailed plans that have addressed climate change, immigration, voting rights, reproductive justice and most recently the LGBTQ+ community.
Yeah, I especially like his reproductive justice plan. Nothing says “justice” like killing babies.
But anyway… like, totally, dude! Forget those fickle jerks and their inside-the-beltway caca del toro. They just don’t understand what the public wants, which they understood right up until the moment the public didn’t want to elect Beto.
I’m glad Robert Francis O’Rourke isn’t giving up. I hope he fights until the very middle. What else is he going to do with himself, anyway? Get a job? Take care of his kids? Do some more travel blogging? Uh, no thank you. He’s right where he belongs: Standing on a restaurant counter, waving his arms around like an epileptic referee.
The Stephen Colbert audience still gives him the applause he craves, at least. Here he is saying words and making gestures, if you need something to help you get back to sleep.