AOC: No, Seriously, We Only Have 12 Years Left

For most of her short time in public life, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has insisted that the world only has 12 years left to solve the problem of globalwarmingclimatechange before the damage is irreversible. And the damage is, well, whatever she says it is. If we don’t do what AOC says before 2031, the weather is going to kill us all. That’s what she said, over and over, for months and months.

Then, two weeks ago, she said this:

This is a technique of the GOP, to take dry humor + sarcasm literally and “fact check” it.

Like the “world ending in 12 years” thing, you’d have to have the social intelligence of a sea sponge to think it’s literal.

But the GOP is basically Dwight from The Office so who knows. https://t.co/pmkwrdeAnq

— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) May 12, 2019

See, all that stuff about “12 years” was just a sarcastic, dryly humorous joke. If you thought she was serious, you have the social intelligence of a sea sponge. And that’s not much, if you’ve ever seen a sea sponge in action. Also, you’re like Dwight from The Office, which is bad because he’s a jerk. LOL, etc.

And now, to prove how much smarter she is than her critics, AOC just delivered another stunning twist. When she said she was just kidding… she was just kidding!

This guy reminds me of every climate scientist warning people we have 12 years left to cut emissions in half before our future is irreversibly damaged & all the GOP wants to do is yell about communist cow farts

“No! We’re not going back to the show!” https://t.co/CKpLKS9BuE

— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) May 29, 2019

Those crummy Republicans, yelling about the cow farts she specifically mentioned in her #GreenNewDeal FAQ.

She cleverly brought up “12 years” again as a reply to this:

WATCH: Weatherman @JamieFOX45Now in Dayton, Ohio snapped at viewers complaining on social media about the network’s decision to cut into The Bachelorette Monday evening with emergency tornado warning coverage

“I’m done with you people, I really am. This is pathetic” pic.twitter.com/m4nxmoUUkY

— Jon Levine (@LevineJonathan) May 28, 2019

See, that exasperated weatherman is just like AOC, warning all us ignorant peasants about imminent danger from the skies. Which she’s just kidding about, and you shouldn’t take her seriously, but also it’s serious. It’s both things. It’s serious and it’s a joke. She’s got the clown nose off and on. That way, she’s never wrong. And if that annoys you, it’s only because you’re not a genius like AOC.

She’s the girl who cried wolf. Except she means it.

Not really.

But she does.

Psyche!

AOC will be 35 on October 13, 2024, which will give her almost two full terms as POTUS to save us all from the weather. Well, not literally. But also: literally.

(Hat tip: Ryan Saavedra)