News & Politics

Giant Rock Sculpture of Beto's Face Appears in Austin

Ever since Hillary Clinton failed miserably and disappointed everybody who believed in her, Dems have been desperately seeking somebody to worship. Obama would be their perfect candidate in 2020, of course, but he can’t run again because of that pesky 22nd Amendment. They’re crazy about AOC, but she’s not old enough yet. (It’s always that damn Constitution thwarting their goals!) And none of the approximately 450 Democrats running next year have been very exciting. A lot of Dem voters really like Bernie, but he’s too cranky and mean. They’d vote for Biden, sure, but they’re not about to throw their panties on the stage for him. They really want to be swept off their feet. They want to devote themselves. They want to fall in love.

So apparently they’ve settled on… Beto?

Callum Patton, Newsweek:

A giant earth artwork depicting 2020 Democratic presidential hopeful Beto O’Rourke has appeared north of Austin, Texas.

The two acre design dubbed “Beto Earthwork” was created by Kansas artist Stan Herd, and is formed mostly from gravel, sand and rock…

“We’re trying to tell the story of this amazing man from Texas making a difference in the national climate,” the artist explained.

“This amazing man.” Yeah, I don’t see anybody building shrines to Kamala or Elizabeth or Amy or Kirsten. It really reminds you just how sexist this country really is, doesn’t it?

Take a look at it, courtesy of the artist himself:

The last time we heard about painted rocks in Texas, it was because we were supposed to care about the old name of a hunting camp owned by Rick Perry’s family. If Perry had been running for president as a Democrat, the press would’ve dismissed that story quicker than Beto’s DWI.

Beto seems like a really weird guy to me. But then, so did Obama. And just as with Obama, all of Beto’s odd behavior and disconcerting foibles will just become part of the myth. The press insisted it was no big deal that Beto livestreamed a trip to the dentist, and they’re already racking their brains to excuse his habit of jumping up on restaurant countertops with his filthy feet. They’re projecting all their hopes and dreams onto him, and they’re not going to let reality spoil the party.

I can’t wait until Beto and Kamala go head-to-head. Are white males the source of all our problems, or aren’t they? The cognitive dissonance is gonna be great!

P.S. I also don’t like it when Republicans worship Trump, or any other politician. Even Mount Rushmore is kind of creepy, when you think about it. So if and when they start building graven monuments to Trump, I won’t like that either. Okay? Okay.