News & Politics

Dems Finally Fall Out of Love with Bill Clinton

Dems Finally Fall Out of Love with Bill Clinton
Bill Clinton celebrates at the Wells Fargo Center in Philadelphia, Pa., on the final night of the Democratic National Convention, July 28, 2016. (Photo By Tom Williams/CQ Roll Call) (CQ Roll Call via AP Images)

It took 20 years, but the Democrats have finally caught up with the rest of us. They now see what’s been right in front of their noses all along: Bill Clinton is a disgusting parasite who should be kept as far away as possible from the levers of power.

Slick Willie used to be their dreamboat, but now nobody wants him to be their Valentine anymore. Edward-Isaac Dovere, Politico:

In a year when the party is deploying all their other big guns and trying to appeal to precisely the kind of voters [Bill] Clinton has consistently won over, an array of Democrats told POLITICO they’re keeping him on the bench. They don’t want to be seen anywhere near a man with a history of harassment allegations, as guilty as their party loyalty to him makes them feel about it…

After booting Sen. Al Franken precisely because they wanted to draw a clear contrast with Trump, Democrats across the party’s ideological and geographical spectrum acknowledged the political trouble that any appearance with Clinton would cause.

Well, how about that. It only took a couple of decades and a sudden cultural shift for Bill Clinton to become political poison. Better late than never, right?

It’s not as if anything about ol’ Bill has changed. He’s still the same Bubba he always was. He’s still the guy who stood up in front of the whole world and said this:

And until very recently, if you wanted to remain a Democrat in good standing, you had to make excuses for him. In the timeless words of pseudo-journalist Nina Burleigh, you had to put on your “presidential kneepads.” You had to pretend it was just a blowjob, and it was nobody’s business but Bill and Hillary’s, and everybody lies about sex, and Juanita Broaddrick was probably just crazy, and it didn’t matter anyway because the Republicans were just as bad. You had to pretend that the woman who stood by her man all those years, who helped him ruin the lives of his accusers, should be the next POTUS.

And you had to do all that with a smile.

But now you don’t have to pretend anymore, Dems. You can admit it: He’s a bad person. The Clintons are bad people. The influence-peddlers have no more influence to peddle, so now you can finally cast them aside. Oceania has always been at war with Eastasia.

A mere 18 months ago, Bill was gawping at all the pretty balloons at the Democratic National Convention. No more balloons for Bill. Grabbing those things was what got him in trouble in the first place.

The irony is that none of this would be happening if it weren’t for Bill and Hillary’s old pal Harvey Weinstein. He’s the one who triggered this whole “Me Too” movement. When he wasn’t raising funds for the Clintons, he was raping actresses for a living. Arguably, we still wouldn’t know about all the awful things Weinstein did if the #Resistance didn’t exist. And the #Resistance wouldn’t exist if Hillary hadn’t failed.

Does this mean I think Trump is any better? Nope. His treatment of women is one of the many reasons I couldn’t bring myself to vote for him. He and his administration deserve every bit of criticism and condemnation they’re getting for this stuff. The Stormy Daniels fiasco, the Rob Porter debacle, all of it. I refuse to defend or make excuses for any of these awful, awful people.

If you can, go ahead. Just don’t pretend you’re any better than the creeps you’ve hated for the past 20 years.

Join the conversation as a VIP Member