News & Politics

According to Joe Biden, More Than 100% of Americans Are Already Vaccinated

AP Photo/Patrick Semansky

Joe Biden said some things today. He claimed the jobs that are returning after the Democrats’ COVID shutdowns as economic growth. That’s not honest, but neither is he.

He also claimed, while goading Americans to get the COVID vaccine, that more than all of us already have.

Who does Biden think he is, Lou Ferrigno?

Thanks to my friend Tom Elliott for catching this one. I was listening to Biden deliver his remarks live while working and did a cartoon double-take at this point. I wasn’t entirely sure I’d heard him say what it sounded like he said.

But, alas, he had. We’re in the very best of hands.

To be fairer to Biden than he ever is to Republicans, the 350 million number isn’t totally made up out of his dimming mind. It is more than there are Americans in America. It is approximately the number of vaccinations, or “Fauci ouchies,” that have been injected into the arms of Americans. Roughly 160 million Americans are fully vaccinated.

Speaking of “Fauci ouchies,” the doctor doesn’t think he’s worn out his welcome quite yet. He recently did a tweet reading at the White House with Olivia Rodrigo. They posted it on YouTube, where it’s getting the customary negative ratio — 7.1k positive to 38k negative as of the time of publication.

The idea of reading tweets about oneself on camera is that they’re supposed to be mean tweets. That’s the joke. See how mean randos can be on Twitter, and see how big-time celebrities react to the abuse on camera.

Here’s an example. Language to be warned about, appropriately bleeped.

So that’s celebrities reading mean tweets about themselves. They’re supposed to be mean. The celebrities react. We laugh. That’s the deal.

Dr. Fauci doesn’t even get that right. Having him read mean tweets would not only be hilarious, it could humanize the guy, and become one of those proverbial teaching moments to the -10% of Americans who aren’t vaccinated yet (in Biden’s mind).

Nope.

Fauci only reads tweets that make him out to be a demigod.

We’re in the very, very best of hands.