For nearly two years, America has been waiting on pins and needles for the definitive answer to the question that shook our American values and beliefs to the core: Did President Trump collude with Russia before, during, and/or after the 2016 presidential election?
Did he? Well…did he?!? Guys?!?
During Robert Mueller’s investigation, unfair partisan politics drove a wedge between American citizens, between brother and brother, sister and sister, half-sister and third-cousin twice removed, Facebook friends who have never even met in real life…it hurt a whole lot of people. Pajama boys cried themselves to sleep every night, sobbing in their flannel onesies (with feet) at the mere thought that the President of the United States could be a Russian agent. They spilled half their strawberry bubble tea all over the floor of the neighborhood organic, fair trade, wind-powered coffee shop, so shaken were they with the possibilities. The barista got a little tired of all the clean-ups, tossed some side-eye and muttered, “I can’t even!” under her breath, but otherwise she was cool.
Did “Make America Great Again” really mean making America a great, big Putin tool? DID IT? True patriots never faltered in their belief, not only in Mueller’s professional capabilities but also in the fact that the investigation would bring unshakable evidence to light. America would have its answer at last.
Kevin Pryslak expertly and accurately in a humorous way summarizes and describes the findings of The Mueller Report. In the book Amazon refused to publish — but Barnes & Noble would! — he marshals quotes by leading Democrats praising Mueller for his honesty, his integrity, and his abilities to investigate things. House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff (D-Calif.) praises Mueller as “the right candidate” to investigate the president. Rep. Jerrold Nadler (D-Calif.) praised Mueller’s appointment “in the best interests of the country,” and “showed courage and commitment to the rule of law.” Senate Minority Leader, Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.) expressed his “confidence that the investigation will follow the facts where they lead.”
So where did they lead? Guys? WHERE DID THEY LEAD?
Rachel Maddow, our nation turns its lonely eyes to you.
Page 43 unveils the stunning evidence of Donald J. Trump’s ties to Russia — evidence that should have been available to the American people in 2016.
The Steele dossier gets its due dissection starting on page 75. It’s a dossier, allegedly written by a man named Christopher Steele. Did you know that?
Former FBI Director James Comey gets fired on page 145. Just. Like. That. Can a president even fire people, people? Isn’t that, like, a violation of some clause or something? The Constitution was written a long time ago, so it’s very confusing, but I’m pretty sure that’s in there.
And then Mueller gets appointed to investigate the president and everyone else he has ever known, for any and all possible wrong thing they have ever done or even thought about doing — on page 161. Everything on every Trump associate’s permanent record — all there. Find out which Trump pal got in-school detention in sixth grade! Nope, not Manafort.
Reading Pryslak’s second-by-second narrative is like re-living this fateful moment in American history — for real — while we are still living it! His journalistic style rivals the great H.L. Mencken. Maybe even Walter Cronkite. Or that guy who did all those reports from Baghdad during the Gulf War. What was his name? Peter something. Doesn’t matter!
And then there it is, the mother lode, on page 247: the EXPLOSIVE Mueller investigation findings. It’s all there.
Unredacted. Every. Single. Thing.
Rep. Adam Schiff’s explosive, not-at-all-predictable response is there too. So is Rep. Jerrold Nadler’s. Before falling out of love with Bob Mueller and hauling Bill Barr up to testify before Congress and all that’s holy, Rep. Nadler must read Pryslak’s explosive and unrestrained Mueller report. He must.
And you must read it too. It will Blow. Your. Mind.
Get your copy of Kevin Pryslak’s The Mueller Report: The Complete and Final Findings Against President Donald J. Trump right here.