Dear GOP,
The Biden administration is going to orchestrate a COVID relief bill as the first order of business and if you know what’s good for you you will not fight it based on any hollow protestations that you care about being “fiscally responsible.” That argument is dead on arrival after you blatantly pushed through not one, but two omnibus bills that were packed so full of pork that it makes Miss Piggy look anorexic.
Let’s take a walk down memory lane to recall some of the stinkers you voted for in those bills. I remind you, you were in charge of a lot more back then.
‘COVID Relief’ Bill Includes New Piracy Law Sending Illegal Streamers to Prison for 10 Years
Ted Cruz Airs His Omnibus Bill Grievances in a Brilliant Monologue: ‘This Pile of Trash Belongs in an Ashtray’
BREAKING: Trump Blasts Democrats for ‘Wasteful’ COVID Bill, Calls Out Its Most Ridiculous Spending, Threatens VETO
The Only Thing Missing From This Absolute Cluster of a ‘COVID Relief’ Bill Is $ for Shrimp on a Treadmill. Trump Should Veto It
The Morning Briefing: We Need a Vaccine to Save Us From Bipartisan ‘Relief’ Bills
Admit to us once and for all—you like big spending and you never had any intention of curbing it. Trying to act fiscally responsible now will be seen as purely partisan and you will be successfully painted as the bad guys withholding COVID relief from Americans who need it. Nevermind that they will probably sneak in money for studies on transgender cats and their effect on global warming—you don’t get to complain about that. The only senators allowed to complain are Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley because they’ve been consistent on the issue, but the rest of you should just pass whatever crap Democrats put together. You have no leg to stand on to block any bill with the word “COVID” on it.
If you try it you will get killed in the media. What you could do and should do is work as hard as you can to bring actual relief to actual people and not allow the Democrats to fund ridiculous boondoggles like gender studies in Pakistan. If I were you, I’d get out there immediately and detail how you will make sure these funds go to Americans in need and not foreign countries.
But don’t start whining about the cost unless it’s to point out that the People are not getting enough relief. Instead, focus on making this COVID relief bill readable, under 20 pages, and actually helpful. This country is no longer full of people who don’t want a check from the government and the last $600 was a joke when foreign countries were getting billions with a “B.” Work on stopping that. But if you are seen as stopping money from getting into the hands of Americans who were forced to shut down their businesses you will lose.
During the Biden administration’s first press conference, Press Secretary Jen Psaki made it very clear that their strategy will be to paint the GOP as miserly grinches. “What are you going to cut? Are you going to cut funding for vaccinations? Are you going to cut funding for unemployment insurance? Are you going to cut funding for re-opening schools?” Psaki asked. (COVID relief talk starts around the 13:00 mark in the video below.)
The narrative is set. The media won’t report any of the garbage in the bill—we will but if it doesn’t break through CNN programming most of America won’t ever hear it and you guys will be the ones standing in the way of getting Americans help. It will be “Republicans want Gramma to eat cat food,” all over again like they did in the 90’s. Don’t let them do that.
Instead, whatever Democrats offer to Americans, you counter with increasing that amount by taking it from whatever pork they stick in there and putting it in COVID relief checks. Then you pass the damn thing. Because you did it twice already and you won’t be able to convince anyone that you care about fiscal responsibility all of sudden. You don’t. Own it. And do your best to direct the next flood of money off the printer to the people who need it.
