Greg Gutfeld’s Eulogy of Swalwell’s Political Career Was Brutal and Epic

Greg Gutfeld didn't just roast Eric Swalwell on Wednesday night's "Gutfeld" — he delivered a full autopsy. The Fox News host used Swalwell's resignation from Congress, following multiple accusations of sexual misconduct and rape, as an opportunity to dissect not just the man but the entire Democratic machine that kept him alive for so long.

I love to bring up Swalwell’s infamous public flatulence a few years back, and so does Gutfeld, who expressed sympathy for Swalwell’s future cellmate. "Imagine getting stuck in a six-by-eight room with that windbreaker," he said. "You'd be begging for the actual gas chamber."

All joking aside (not really), from there, Gutfeld turned to the bigger question: how did Swalwell last this long? The Fang Fang spy scandal alone should have ended him. "He should've been sent to Sing Sing after playing bang bang with Fang Fang," Gutfeld said. But it didn't end him, and Gutfeld argued that wasn't an accident — it was a feature of how the Democratic Party operates.

"He's no evil mastermind, possessing neither the strategic qualities of a Pelosi or the sociopathic charm of Gavin, or even the well-manicured stubble of Rashida Tlaib." At his core, Gutfeld said, Swalwell was just a buffoon — loud, arrogant, and, apparently, fragrant. "He was hiding in plain sight, 'cause if you ever met him at a party, you'd run screaming. He was loud, arrogant, even smelling, an assault on all our senses."

Of course, being a buffoon didn't disqualify him. It made him useful. Gutfeld described Swalwell as a "low-level henchman, told what to say, no matter how absurd, and he would." The Democrats, Gutfeld argued, tolerate anyone willing to do the dirty work. "Everyone tolerates him for now, 'cause he'll do anything for the syndicate." The keyword there is now, because the moment a useful idiot stops being useful, the machine moves on.

That moment apparently came when Swalwell's ambition outgrew his lane. He ran for president. Briefly, embarrassingly. "His feeble campaign made Jeb Bush look like Alexander the Great," Gutfeld said

Then came the sharpest part of the monologue. Gutfeld described Swalwell as the type of person "who grandstands for women as a cloak to abuse them, and then projects his own sins onto others." He then played a clip of Swalwell lecturing Republicans about trusting women: "My Republican colleagues do not trust women. You don't trust women. Do you all ever talk to women? They deserve better. Trust women, my friends."

Gutfeld's response was deadpan and lethal: "Oh, we will. We will."

"It's like watching Ted Bundy in a commercial for an all-girls college," he said. "He's the classic male feminist who rattles off the popular positions while moving into position to grab a t*t. It's a progressive pig pass." Gutfeld named the pattern: Ted Kennedy, Harvey Weinstein, Swalwell. "It's like a hall of fame, but the plaques are restraining orders."

Gutfeld also brought up Swalwell's bizarre weightlifting challenge — directed at Gutfeld himself. "Come on, the guy struggles to lift anything he hasn't roofied yet." And then there was Swalwell's decision to announce his California gubernatorial campaign on Jimmy Kimmel's show. "The farter and the crybaby," Gutfeld said. "I hope they gave the audience protective gear with all those bodily emissions in the air."

The Democratic establishment knew who Swalwell was. They always did, and Gutfeld called them out for it.

“They all knew. Swalwell is everything the Dems claim they despise: an arrogant, selfish white male who used his status to abuse women. But he checked the right boxes, said the right things, attacked the right people." When he became a liability, the machine simply cut him loose.

"So if anyone deserved the nickname useful idiot, it's him," Gutfeld said. “The problem for Eric was his usefulness ran out way before his idiocy. Great ending, huh?"

Eric Swalwell’s Demise pic.twitter.com/HMjllKAVxn
— Gutfeld! (@Gutfeldfox) April 16, 2026

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