In today’s media landscape, where trust in journalism is at an all-time low, it’s more important than ever for writers to be honest and transparent with their readers. As a columnist for PJ Media, I’ve always prided myself on cutting through the noise, delivering unfiltered takes from a conservative perspective. I’ve spent years calling out liberal bias and holding the powerful to account, and I’ve tried to maintain my integrity even when the pressure to conform is overwhelming.
But honesty isn’t just about exposing the hypocrisy of the left or debunking the latest progressive talking points. It’s also about being real with you, my readers, about who I am. Frankly, after the Signalgate scandal broke, I realized I have to be honest about my personal truth. Today, I’m coming out as transgender.
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I’m sure you’re wondering about my pronouns. I can’t blame you. Honestly, I haven’t decided yet. I was thinking xe/xem/xyr, but I didn’t believe those really reflected my desperate need for attention. Obviously, there’s ze/zir/zirs, which, of course, is a classic, but again, does it truly reflect the underlying narcissism that preferred pronouns are really all about? Eh, I don’t think so. I thought about rs/redstateself as my pronouns, but obviously, that sounds ridiculous. For now, I’m going with pj/pjself. Appropriate, right? But, you know, the situation is fluid, so they could change by the time I finish writing this.
In fact, they changed right now.
Hold it.
Wait a second.
They've changed back.
Well.… that was weird.
Anyway, now that my authentic identity is out there, you must be wondering what’s next for me. Obviously, I’m looking forward to gaining access to women’s restrooms. I know that Target won’t question my gender identity, so I guess I’ll be shopping there exclusively. While I’m there, obviously I’m going to stock up on some Bud Light and tampons.
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On a more serious note, I know this is going to hurt me financially. The gender pay gap is real, folks, and you know that women make something like 82 cents on the dollar compared to men. It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make! But don't worry: I will start a GoFundMe to make up the difference.
Of course, there’s more to my authentic identity than just being a woman with pj/pjself pronouns. You know, I never really shined as an athlete in my youth, so I’m also identifying as 17 years old and plan to get into sports. I’m coming for those record books — and the girls’ locker room!
So there you have it: my glorious new identity. What do you think? Will you support me? I promise that if I become a massively successful TikTok influencer, I won’t forget my roots.
I’m so excited for what’s ahead of me: women’s restrooms and locker rooms, a smaller bank account, and a shot at sports stardom. What more could anyone ask for? I’m living proof that self-identification is the ultimate life hack. I do kind of regret that I didn’t do this on Monday, which, I’m sure you know, was Trans Day of Visibility. But I thought about it, and today just seemed so much more appropriate and fitting.
Obviously, while I can identify as whatever gender I want, PJ Media VIP doesn’t work the same way. Why? Because gender is just different! Okay? It just is! If you want exclusive content, ad-free browsing, and commenting privileges, you just have to join PJ Media VIP the old-fashioned way. But the good news is you can use the code FIGHT for 60% of your membership. Remember it was our VIPs that gave me the courage to come out!
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