Last week, I mentioned that Mrs. Brown and I joined a gym. I have a personal trainer, and the gym has lots of nifty amenities, such as a hot tub and cold plunge, a movie room, a CryoLounge (not sure what that is), a “recovery space,” and several saunas. I am an early riser by habit, and like to hit the gym at around 0300 to avoid the morning rush.
So this morning, I finished my workout, took a sauna, and grabbed a shower. I needed to blow my nose and swung by the stalls for a piece of T.P., since most paper towel dispensers have been replaced with air dryers, and you can’t blow your nose with an air dryer. Well, maybe you can, but I shudder to think of the potential mess. Exiting the stall, I noticed all of the urinals had stickers above them. Upon closer inspection, I discovered that the stickers were instructions for using a urinal. Instruction #1: Aim for the urinal.
Has it come to this? I mean, really, HAS IT COME TO THIS? Have we reached a nexus in the Great American Experiment that we have to tell men not to relieve themselves on the floor or their shoes but to “point it at the porcelain,” so to speak? I could understand having this discussion with preschoolers, kindergartners, or maybe the occasional unruly elementary student, but do adult men need to be told to, well… you know, sight in their rifles?
I mean, we aren’t just talking about the mouth-breathing banana peels who spent all their money developing a terminal case of tennis elbow because they genuinely believed that the pretty girls on OnlyFans not only remembered their names but actually loved them back. No, these are honest-to-god grown-up men who presumably have jobs and maybe even families.
I left feeling healthier, but sadder for the state of the union. Granted, I’m approaching senior citizenship, but I am nowhere near the “get-off-my-lawn” phase, and even if I were there, I don’t think I’m up in the night about this. Am I asking too much?
Apparently so.
In a similar, but more benign vein, America’s McPaper, USA Today, recently highlighted a space in Los Angeles called “The Feels.”
For $200, participants —singles in the City of Angels — can sit down with a partner and spend a few minutes getting to know one another through a series of basic introductory questions. Then:
An exercise follows each discussion. In one, pairs gaze into each other's eyes for minutes on end. In another, they "finger trace" each other, which involves gently gliding their fingers over the other's body. They also hold each other in long embraces. Each exercise involving touch gets preceded by a quick talk about consent between each pair.
During the hug, some pairs stand. Some sit on chairs. Others go to the floor. At the end of the night, each person shares a few words about their experience.
"I feel seen," one says. "At ease in my body," says another. "Warmly renewed," says another.
Eric Friedlander, a 40-year-old startup founder, says he's had a hard time dating in the city − and he's not alone. Nearly everyone he knows, he says, feels burned out on dating apps, on top of the fast speed of life in Los Angeles.
Mindfulness practices and therapy, he says, have been key for his wellbeing, and it's important to him to date someone who feels the same. That's why he came to The Feels.
"Everyone here's showing up," he says. "I go to restaurants. I go to events with people. It's hard to find people who are like, 'I'm showing up. I'm here. I want to engage.'"
All of that is incredibly benign in light of the opening scenario, but these two things are facets of the same problem. On one hand, we have a contingent of people who need to be reminded of the basics of hygiene because enough of them have demonstrated that they care nothing for the hapless users who come after them. On the other hand, we have people who have become so disconnected that they are willing to pony up 200 clams to have some form of human interaction that does not involve social media, peacocking, or disclosing their net income.
There will be those who say, “Don’t blame social media!” Fair enough, social media is only as good or as evil as those who use it. But somewhere along the way, we gave away enough of our humanity that we view the world with headphones on or earbuds in place, through a pair of sunglasses, and over the tops of our smartphones, if we care to look up at all. The yahoos at the gym are so self-involved that they are creating a health hazard. The people at “The Feels” became so self-involved that they set themselves adrift in one of the most populated cities in the world, and think that they have to pay for the privilege of connecting with another human being. We used to see one another.
When all is said and done, making America great again is going to take more than a return to Constitutional principles, the ideals of the Founding Fathers, the rule of law, and faith. At some point, we have to get back to being human.
