Don't Let the Door Hit You Where the Good Lord Split You: Biden's Farewell Letter

Is it Monday yet? No, really, I'm not even asking for a friend. Usually, everyone dreads Mondays since that means a return to the drudgery of the work week. But dear God in His Heaven, this Monday cannot possibly come soon enough. If any of my PJ colleagues or readers can make it to Utah, I'm considering hosting a beer bash in the backyard commencing at 7:00 a.m. MST. I'm thinking of smoking chicken wings. Please bring a dish to share. And no Jenga, Uno, Settlers of Catan, or Ticket to Ride. Yahtzee will be permitted on a first-come basis. 

With the National Headache/Nightmare/Dyspepsia about to come to an end, exiting Mannequin-in-Chief Joe Biden issued his farewell letter to the nation on Wednesday. Even accounting for the fact that he likely did not write much, if any, of it, it is still a testament to the level of denial, dysfunction, and delusion that became hallmarks of the last four years. Even if Biden contributed to the self-congratulatory epistle, he likely threw out a shoulder patting himself on the back for a term that should have him feeling like he needs to wear a bag over his head whenever he leaves his Rehoboth Beach home. Mercifully, he does not recount his moral victory over Corn Pop, his deep understanding of gay rights at the age of twelve or something, the fact that he was raised as a Puerto Rican, or the story of his uncle being consumed by cannibals. Too bad; the missive would have been more believable if he had.

Instead, what we have from the “kid with a stutter from modest beginnings in Scranton, Pennsylvania, and Claymont, Delaware,” is an epic fantasy comparable to "The Lord of the Rings" or maybe "Game of Thrones." I've never seen the latter, so I am just guessing. Don't believe me? Here is his opening paragraph:

Four years ago, we stood in a winter of peril and a winter of possibilities. We were in the grip of the worst pandemic in a century, the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression, and the worst attack on our democracy since the Civil War. But we came together as Americans, and we braved through it. We emerged stronger, more prosperous, and more secure.

Are we talking about the same country? He means the U.S., right? Let's see, we had a pandemic that was blown out of proportion with preventive measures that, for some, were worse than the virus. Instead of focusing on treating people who were genuinely at risk, the nation went into a lockdown that destroyed businesses, affected education, and increased isolation, substance abuse and porn use. As for an economic crisis, I don't recall that happening until Biden took office. Under Trump, I found a job when I needed one, got a promotion and two raises. Under Biden, businesses shuttered, the price of gas went through the roof, and people almost had to sell a kidney to buy eggs. And don't get me started on the "worst attack on our Democracy since the Civil War." Given the Biden administration's border policies of admitting God-knows-who to the nation, that attack may be yet to come. 

You might have emerged stronger and more prosperous if you were BlackRock, State Street, Vanguard, a member of Congress, or Biden's inner circle. Otherwise, count your blessings if you're still breathing. More secure? Like the Afghanistan withdrawal? Hamas felt secure enough to invade Israel and massacre innocent people. Russia felt secure enough to invade Ukraine. And then there's Iran. How secure are we? I dunno; let's ask China.

Biden lists some of his other achievements, including

• Adding 1.6 million new jobs
• Lowering the racial wealth gap
• "Rebuilding the nation"
• Increasing manufacturing
• Technological innovation
• Lowering the cost of prescription drugs and increasing access to medical insurance

Oh, and the violent crime rate is at a 50-year low. I'm surprised he didn't tout our secure borders. Were we all watching the same movie for the last four years?

The Man Who Thought He Was President ended his farewell letter by saying:

History is in your hands. The power is in your hands. The idea of America lies in your hands. We just have to keep the faith and remember who we are. We are the United States of America, and there is simply nothing beyond our capacity when we do it together. 

 Thank you. 

 Joseph R. Biden

We know, Joe. That's why we voted the way we did. And as they used to say at the bars at closing time, "You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here."