For the record, my pronouns are drop/dead/in a ditch.
But Californians who experience the unmitigated Lovecraftian horror of being referred to by the wrong pronouns now have a way of righting such a grievous wrong. In a state that has long since passed the status of post-apocalyptic radioactive wasteland, Governor Gavin Newsom has set his sights on the issue of “attacks on actual or perceived identities.” Those who have suffered such indignities now have a website and a hotline they can access to report these assaults. I’m not kidding. California now has a pronoun hotline, since there is no more pressing business with which it needs to contend.
According to a report in The Washington Free Beacon, people who have sustained pronoun/identity trauma at the hands of heartless cultural troglodytes can report their plight to the state through the effort known as “CA v Hate.” However, at this point, it is unclear what the California Overlords will do with this data. But the information will probably prove useful at some time in the future when Gavin decides to run for president and enjoy rides on Hair Gel One. But it may also be leveraged when the state legislators decide that it is high time for another law to remind Golden State residents just how lucky they are to be so miserable.
The project has its genesis in a 2021 California bill drafted in response to incidents of anti-Asian hate across the U.S. But what constitutes “hate” in California? From the Free Beacon, “The Newsom administration defines a hate act vaguely as ‘a hostile expression or action that may be motivated by bias against another person’s actual or perceived identity.'” Examples include derogatory name-calling, bullying, hate mail, and refusing service, according to the website.”
Notably, law enforcement will not involve itself in any of the reports unless specifically requested to do so. One reason for that policy is that illegal aliens may not feel comfortable making a report. The site states, “Reporting will stop the normalization of hate in our communities, and ensure impacted individuals get the help they need.” But it is not out of the realm of possibility that someone will call the cops they usually want to defund to dole out a little punishment to a person who doesn’t care to play gender bingo. Think “Law & Order: Special Pronouns Unit.”
LA attorney Julie Hamill told the Free Beacon, “I think best case, this is a political stunt to show they’re ‘doing something and they care,’ and nothing will come of this waste of taxpayer dollars. Anything more than that is too horrifying to imagine. Are we going to get knocks on our door from the California Department of Civil Rights because of a mean tweet? Is this going to be a place for students to report teachers and professors who don’t toe the party line on thorny political issues?”
Either of Hamill’s scenarios are equally plausible and the second option should be terrifying to every Californian.
And now for the punchline. I tried to visit the official state website to see what was available to complainants and read the sales pitch. Unfortunately, or perhaps hilariously, my antivirus program blocked me and said:
“This is a known dangerous webpage. It is highly recommended that you do NOT visit this page.”
Talk about the understatement of the year.
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