Back when I was a kid and they taught American history, my class did a section on American Tall Tales and learned about Paul Bunyan and Pecos Bill. Those of course were stories told around campfires and in cabins to pass the time after a hard day’s work on the plains or in the forest. Nobody actually believed them, but they were fun to listen to. In the 21st Century, we have George Santos. Perhaps more appropriately, we have our version of Baron von Munchausen. Think of it as a terminal case of Munchausen-by-Politics.
We already know that Santos padded his resume and claimed to be Jewish until he got busted. Then, he was Jewish in the same way that Joe Biden was Puerto Rican. He could be the first member of Congress to be granted his own laugh track. But there was also the issue of the fake animal charity, followed by the fact that Santos swindled a disabled veteran out of $3,000, claiming he would get the man’s dog the cancer treatments that she needed. And he is also wanted by authorities in Brazil for stealing a sick man’s checkbook, and he worked for a company in the United States that the SEC called a Ponzi scheme.
Along with his “fortified” job and educational record and an increasingly sketchy past, Santos is also the victim of multiple crimes — or so he says. He made this claim during a podcast interview in Brazil in December which was translated and aired Monday by The Rachel Maddow Show.
According to the New York Post, Santos told the podcaster that he and his husband returned from a New Year’s party in 2021 to find their Florida home vandalized. The alleged impetus for the attack was that the couple had attended a Republican gathering. He added, “We have already suffered an attempt on my life, an assassination attempt, a threatening letter, having to have the police, a police escort standing in front of our house.” He didn’t go into details about the assassination attempt.
Related: Just When You Think George Santos Couldn’t Get Any Worse
He also says that in the Summer of 2021, he was mugged on the streets of New York City in broad daylight by two white men. He claims that he lost his watch, briefcase, and shoes. I suppose that makes him special because that NEVER happens to people in New York City. Nope, quite the anomaly, there.
But what can you expect from a legislator who has actually needed to utter the words “No, I was not a drag queen in Brazil.” Although he did dress up as a woman during a festival. Well, once during a festival and once during a Pride parade. He’s been a scholar, economist, thief, drag queen, and now a crime victim. What is next? Was he abducted by aliens? Did he solve Fermat’s Last Theorem in kindergarten? The possibilities are infinite at this point. The man is officially a legend. Or a joke.
Santos is not the first member of Congress to lie, steal, engage in sexual antics, etc. What makes Santos unique is that he may be one of the only members of Congress to do them all. One thing is clear, this is American history in the making, right here, folks.
Join the conversation as a VIP Member