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10 Ladies’ Room Rules That Will Keep Other Women from Hating You

This one is for the girls. Not being completely familiar with the rules and regulations of trigger warnings, I’m a little hesitant about whether or not this is appropriate, but before I begin, let me just warn our male readers: continuing to read will rob you of your sense of awe about the mysterious and wondrous things that you think go on in the women’s restroom. Read at your own peril.

I’m attending some classes this week, which means I’m drinking copious amounts of coffee and therefore having to spend more time than I usually do in a public restroom frequented by other women — poised, professional-looking women who (by most measures) seem to have impeccable manners. But the minute I walk into the restroom I realize that women are the same wherever you go: It is a universal truth that women demonstrate appallingly uncouth behavior when they're turned loose in public restrooms — especially when they are traveling in gaggles.

With that in mind I'd like to suggest a code of conduct:Spray-Perfume-431x288

10. Don’t flood the zone with perfume.

There are enough smells wafting around in a public restroom — various cleaning products and air fresheners, not to mention the... well… the “organic” scents produced by visitors to the stalls. Please don’t add to the fetor by spraying three gallons of Estee Lauder Beautiful or Jean Nate in the confined space of a public restroom. The rest of us are choking on the fumes of your loveliness and besides,  I’m fairly sure you’re probably violating a fire code or a county health regulation with all that unauthorized spraying.

Toilet

9. Alert someone when the toilet paper dispenser is empty.

We all know that terrible feeling of reaching for the toilet paper, only to discover that the dispenser is empty. You fish around in your purse and of course, you have no napkin, no tissue -- not even a gum wrapper to provide an assist. Your options are extremely limited at that point: drip dry or use that relatively clean-looking piece of toilet paper that the person before you carelessly tossed on the floor. The only reason this happens is because the girl before you did not have the courtesy to let someone know that the toilet paper dispenser needed to be refilled (or possibly because service personnel ignored the request of the good Samaritan). Please be kind -- don't leave the next girl to drip dry!