Sunday, on the last night of CPAC, the PJ Media crew left the grounds of the conference and walked to a nearby bar.
A young, drunk, five-foot-nothing chap in a suit approached us and said, “Death to neocons. I kill neocons. Kill them, right?” We crossed the street, and he followed us. I had no idea what he meant. He pressed on, “Kill all neocons, right?”
I was confused. He was wearing a suit so I assumed he wasn’t an Antifa lass (they can’t afford suits). But I’m a newer conservative and I thought he might be a serious threat.
“Are you threatening to kill me?” I asked, twice. I had flown to Orlando and thus had no weapons on me.
He got bored and walked away before I had to introduce my heavy, vintage briefcase to his oily forehead.
Once I got to the bar, I asked my friends, “What is a neocon?”
Apparently, a neocon is a “new conservative.”
I am a neocon.
FACT-O-RAMA! I DO NOT WANT our soldiers dying to spread democracy in other countries. I want them fighting to defend ours.
Are neocons bad? Let’s settle this once and for all.
My dad was a retired union auto worker from Detroit and an almost-lifelong Democrat. His collar was as blue as a can of Bud Light. He had a concealed carry permit and didn’t leave home without his five-shot Taurus revolver. The only time he didn’t vote for a Democrat presidential candidate was the year he pulled the crank for Ross Perot. He never voted for one of those “wealthy, worker bee-hating Republicans” until 2016, when he happily voted for Trump. His transformation was, for me, like buying a Toyota: “Oh, what a feeling.”
I got my dad a ticket to see Trump speak in Sterling Heights, Mich. back in 2016. He loved the experience — the energy from the largely blue-collar crowd, the words Trump spoke, and the leadership and stage presence Trump commanded. Hillary struck him as a “b**** who couldn’t pump her own gas.”
“I never voted for a damn Republican in my life but I can’t vote for Hillary. Trump makes more sense,” he sheepishly told me after the rally. Then he jumped on the Trump bandwagon, hard.
FACT-O-RAMA! My friend’s dad moved here from commie Poland. He was a die-hard conservative who believed it was wrong to torture terrorists, even in the event they could provide information that might deter a terror attack. I disagree with him and always have.
My dad became part of the new wave of Trump supporters who helped pushed Donald J. Trump over the finish line and spank the reptilian tail of Hillary Clinton. He and I, and many other Democrat-turned-Republicans, after years of voting blue, were now a part of the new “conservatives,” which are largely made up of swing voters and pissed-off Democrats. More of these patriots than never-Trumpers showed up to vote, and Trump beat the Hilda-beast and occupied the White House. Suck it, lizard-lady.
BACKSTORY: We fled Detroit to the suburbs in 1976 after crime started hitting too close to home. Every kid in our neighborhood and been thumped, jumped, beaten, or had a knife or gun stuck in our faces.
Crime was non-existent in Sterling Heights, Mich. back when my parents moved there. It exploded years later under the not-so sterling leadership of Gov. Gretchen Whitmer. A Sterling Heights man was shot by a Detroit thug who had followed the victim home from a bar. A woman in her 70s was carjacked at the Kroger’s grocery store my dad shopped at. These things didn’t happen in Sterling Heights before Whitmer, a Democrat, took charge. We moved out of Detroit, but “Detroit” followed us to the ‘burbs. Yet another reason the Democrats lost Michigan in 2016.
BACK TO THE BACKSTORY: Sometime about 1975, a neighborhood woman who lived two houses north was “beaten up” by a scumbag in her home one night. (When I was older, they told me she had been raped in front of her two kids). My dad was working midnights in a GM factory at the time. As the oldest son, I was given my first weapon, a Montgomery Ward bolt-action .410 shotgun (which, like my other guns, was lost in a tragic boating accident on Lake Michigan). My dad told me to shoot “any son of a b**** who breaks in. Shoot him three times because he will try to trick you, pretend he is hurt, and then hurt your mom, your little brother, and you.” I was ten years old and I felt like James Bond, I had a license to kill duty to protect my family when my dad wasn’t home.
This brings us to the new crop of conservatives, former Democrats who are now voting Republican, like my dad, myself, and a ton of other people. We are midwesterners, New Yorkers, Californians, and so forth.
We former Democrats weren’t like coastal libs (though I was one of those too for a while). We don’t want our police defunded; we want them to introduce their night-sticks to Antifa’s gender-free foreheads. We are gun-loving, freedom-embracing Americans who not only dislike the direction in which the country is going, we are ready to fight to make sure our freedoms are secure for our kids, nieces, nephews, and grandchildren. We cheered when Kyle Rittenhouse was acquitted for doing what every one of us would have done: ventilate the communists trying to kill us and take our towns.
FACT-O-RAMA! Midwestern Democrats own guns and many go to church. NYC libs consider them rubes. Trump red-pilled millions of us, and we aren’t going back.
Like most conservatives, the new Republicans say “Eat me” in situations where sitzpinkler RINOs say, “Please don’t call me a racist.” #LindseyGraham
The new Republicans laugh when today’s progressives tell us we are bigots for rejecting the idea that a dude in a dress is a “woman.” We don’t kowtow to the left because they call us “racists” for no reason. We do a shot every time they call us “white supremacists” simply because we believe in equality — you know, like Martin Luther King, Jr. We aren’t afraid to fight to preserve that “patriarchy parchment” called the Constitution. Gluten-free commie prags don’t scare us.
New Republicans drink Jim Beam and scoff when the FBI kisses the asses of BLM and their Antifa sisters but calls us “terrorists.”
Related: How Far Can You Push Americans Before They Start Using Firearms to Fight Fascism?
Conservatives hold themselves to, and are held to, higher standards. I know 50-plus-year-old Democrats still living either on the dole or in mommy and daddy’s basement. I’d rather shovel s*** at an Adrian, Mich. horse farm than accept a handout. Don’t get me wrong; good people hit hard times, let’s help them. But if you’re on your fourth “oops” baby and STILL relying on the government to feed your mistakes, buy condoms. When I was a kid in Detroit, welfare was seen as shameful, NOT an entitlement. Eddie Murphy knows:
I’ll be honest, the new breed of Trump Republicans are not always quite as conservative as the lifers. Many of us don’t go to church. My fiancee belongs in a museum: she is a hot, Puerto Rican, Trump-loving, pistol-shooting bisexual woman. She used to vote blue. Not any more. Her lefty friends loaded up their panties when they learned she had been red-pilled, even the women.
Related: CPAC Facts Vs. Fiction: Conservatives Are Way Cooler Than Libs
Though we, the new Republicans, voted “D” in the past, we were chased out of the Democrat party because we firmly believe women don’t have weiners. We believe REAL women should be able to win a trophy or a college scholarship without having a sissy-boy come along, paint his nails, “identify” as a woman, and propeller his way across a pool to victory.
Like original conservatives, we also embrace hard work, guns, and that nasty Second Amendment that allows us to have them. Unlike original conservatives, a few of us aren’t all that religious and we don’t embrace “forgive and forget.” Some of us prefer to teach our political enemies a lesson: vote the tyrants out and arrest those who violated the Constitution. Yes, we want vengeance.
JOKE-O-RAMA! My girlfriend recently asked me, “If you could have sex with any famous woman, living or dead, who would it be?” I responded, “Nancy Pelosi, dead.”
Detroiters in the 70s didn’t call the cops. If a group of punks waxed your windows or burned your car on “devil’s night” they knew that, if caught, they’d get their asses beat. Some of our weak Republicans in Washington D.C. don’t want to fight back. They kiss the rings of liberals just to not be called a bigot. The new Republicans don’t care. An eye for an eye isn’t always enough for some of us. Democrats need to learn a simple lesson: support the Constitution or you’ll be sent to the cornfield.
Hillary, Pelosi, Biden, and his crack-huffing brat, Hunter (for starters) need to be taught a lesson. Voting them out isn’t enough. I’m sorry if my opinion isn’t all that Christian but we need to set an example. F** around and find out. Send them to jail. Set an example.
I have lifelong conservative friends who just want peace. However, some of them are as frustrated as we, the new Republicans. We want peace, too, but we also want the tyrants punished.
I believe that in order for our country to heal there needs to be a reckoning. Hillary and her crew of blood-suckers need to be perp-walked on every news station. Hunter needs to bite the biscuit and tell the world what a trash bin his “10% for the big guy” daddy really is. Call me “wicked” and “unChristian,” but I believe an eye-for-an-eye is just an appetizer. Burn the Democrat party to the ground.
Related: This Is Why We Have the Second Amendment
We are starting to see real guts from some Republican politicians, people like Reps. Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.), Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.), and Lauren Boebert, (R-Colo.), just to name a few. We need the entire party to jump on board. Being nice has gotten us to where we are today, which is borderline communism. Hunt RINOs. Vote for REAL Republicans.
FACT-O-RAMA! This rant is starting to sound like a country-western B-side. I’ll wrap it up.
It took a war to free the Democrats’ slaves. Let’s hope we can spank the libs again, just without all the bloodshed. The writing is on the wall once more: Democrats are a wart on the booty of society. Old-school conservatives and new Republicans need to excise them once and for all.
Some of us may be “neocons,” new to the conservative side, but we bring our beliefs, dedication, anger, and ammo to the Republican party. Let us in the loop, and may peaceful justice against tyrants begin. You can trust us.
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