Kamala Harris reminds me of the story about the woman who went before the judge for robbing the bank where she used to work. "Your honor, I may have taken that money. But I assure you, my values have not changed from the time I worked there. I didn't take the money then, and I still have the same values. So I think it only fair you dismiss the charges."
When her accomplice steps up before the judge, he makes this plea: "My wife has often warned me about my poor grammar. All those signs saying free checking and free savings accounts got my grammar all mixed up. I thought they were free, so you could take them. Bad on me for my poor grammar, but that is no reason to put me in jail."
The judge, a good Biden diversity, equity, and inclusion appointment, quickly dismissed the case against these would-be Bonny and Clydes. And all lived happily after.
And so goes another penetrating interview at CNN. The obvious question for voters is, What exactly is the difference between your values and your actions? Please circle that square.
Yes, the network that put the fake in fake news after spending years telling its viewers that the Democrat operatives who created the Russia hoax were telling the truth is again doing its election-year thing. Through a lack of follow-up questions and serious reporting, it continues to do its darndest to turn this pair of mice into lions worthy of a casting call at MGM.
Harris's claim that millions of jobs were created after the pandemic was about as believable as claiming the American workforce is finally back on the job on Monday after a massive work stoppage on Saturday and Sunday. What is that old saying about statistics and liars?
Some have even questioned whether the recent correction of over 818,000 fewer jobs in the report by the Bureau of Labor Statistics wasn't a correction at all. The statistical difference was because the nation is now keeping two sets of books. There's one for those who are being paid. The other is for those legally on the books and reported for tax and benefit purposes. Have a happy Labor Day pondering that statistical jumble. Jobs appear and disappear thanks to the presto magic of statistics.
President Trump, please give one-word answers during the upcoming debate if possible. Cede your time to Vice President Harris. In the days I was involved with sound engineering, we rarely used female voices. Most of those doing voice-overs were male. For many listeners, a long exposure to the higher-pitched female voice grates. Such was the marketing consensus then. Voice standards are not the same today. The "radio voice" is not a thing anymore, but there are limits.
So is it unfair to say that unless Harris is yelling into the mic, her sing-song whiney voice grates? In fairness, the aw-shucks Bill Clinton thing was a little hard to take, too. Neither of them seems to be selling authenticity.
Listening to the badly underproduced interview CNN had with Harris gave you the sense she was either whining to her mother or in fear that a bear was about to eat her. As a young, pretty woman, she might have gotten away with it. In late middle age, it doesn't sell as well. She needs more pistol-packing mama and a lot less Little Bo Peep talking to the kindergarten class.
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And as for the setting, complete with the water cup on the floor and the cluttered background, what can you say? It looks like they shot it in some hospital cafeteria or those generic corporate coffee shops that just warm every voter's heart. It was folksy — not. A 40-day wait for that? Is this the best team Hollywood could come up with?
Well, the good news is that the campaign will be short. If voters have to listen to Kamala Harris's voice longer than that, they might just turn off the news altogether. Even those talking head news junkies on TV couldn't avoid using that worst of all TV words when analyzing the debate — boring.
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