Ed Driscoll

The Million Metaphor March

Headline of the Day: “US Student is Rescued from Giant Vagina Sculpture in Germany:”

According to [its sculptor, Peruvian artist Fernando de la Jara], the 32-ton sculpture made out of red Veronese marble is meant to signify “the gateway to the world”.

Police confirmed that the firefighters turned midwives delivered the student “by hand and without the application of tools”.

The mayor of Tübingen told the Süddeutsche Zeitung newspaper that he struggled to imagine how the accident could have happened, “even when considering the most extreme adolescent fantasies. To reward such a masterly achievement with the use of 22 firefighters almost pains my soul.”

Since my friend Steve Green is currently on vacation, allow me to add: you know you’re not supposed to do that, right?

(Via Twitchy, whose name is extra-appropriate for this story, of course.)