Ed Driscoll

Human Sacrifice, Dogs And Cats Living Together... Mass Hysteria!

Dr. Peter Venkman: This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.

Mayor: What do you mean, “biblical”?

Dr Ray Stantz: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath of God type stuff.

Dr. Peter Venkman: Exactly.

Dr Ray Stantz: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!

Dr. Egon Spengler: Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes…

Winston Zeddemore: The dead rising from the grave!

Dr. Peter Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!

Mayor: All right, all right! I get the point!

If Detroit has any spare change left hidden under the mattresses, it might be time to call in the Ghostbusters, as all three of Dr. Peter Venkman’s signs of the apocalypse have come true in recent years:

“In bankrupt Detroit, abandoned dogs roam the streets in packs.”

— Headline, the Chicago Tribune, Thursday.

● “According to reports, many residents on the city’s northeast side have seen what appears to be an exotic cat, perhaps as tall as four feet, roaming the streets.”

“Big Cat Has Detroit Area Residents On Alert,” at CBS-Detroit, yesterday.

“Detroit Suffering From Hip-Hop Cannibalism.”

— Headline, Rap Dirt.com, April 12, 2006.

OK, that last item doesn’t involve, as Whoopi Goldberg might say, cannibalism-cannibalism, but still — why take a chance?

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