Ed Driscoll

Royally Screwed City Decides to Make It Official

Check out the headline on this Detroit Free Press story: “Prostitution, pot legalization could make Detroit attractive, Fieger says.”

What could go wrong? Although actually, perhaps a better question to ask, considering how royally screwed the city is already, what else could go wrong?

Could Detroit be the new Amsterdam — a city where prostitution and marijuana are both legalized to help attract young people and turn the troubled city’s prospects around?

Why not, barrister and occasional mayoral candidate Geoffrey Fieger said during a taping of “Michigan Matters” on what he would do if he walked in Detroit Mayor Dave Bing’s shoes and tried to address the city’s woes.

“I could turn it around in five minutes,” Fieger said.

“I’d shovel the snow and I’d clean the streets and parks. Then, I’d tell the police department to leave marijuana alone and don’t spend one dime trying to enforce marijuana laws. I also would not enforce prostitution laws and I’d make us the new Amsterdam.”

“We would attract young people,” Fieger said. “You make Detroit a fun city. A place they want to live and they would flock here.”

The jokes here are endless — Jack Kevorkian’s attorney decides to for drugs and sex what he did for death. Not to mention this is the logical conclusion to the tagline of rapper Emimem’s disastrous car ad from this year’s Super Bowl: “This is the Motor City and this is what we do.”

And you can do it too — at $150 for a half-hour or $250 for a full-hour. Hashish extra, of course.

The lads over at Ace of Spades‘ blog have a running gag that ____ [fill name of ultra-blue state area teetering on the brink of bankruptcy] is “boned.”

Since Detroit has been the most thoroughly “boned” city in America for quite some time, they might as well find some way of making a buck from the notion, I guess.

On the other hand, Amsterdam isn’t just a running gag in Quentin Tarantino’s Pulp Fiction — their sizable Muslim population aren’t all that thrilled with how “progressive” a city they inhabit.

What would Detroit’s rather sizable Muslim population think of this proposal?