Just Make Sure Hal Isn't Monitoring Things

Joe Gandelman begins an otherwise informative look at human hibernation by quipping:

You’ve seen it in movies, read about it in comic books as a kid, heard about it since you were two when it comes to bears…and now scientists say humans can hibernate, too.

But wait: I thought humans could already hibernate. There’s even a term for it: “attending high school.”

Actually, the previous story on Bay Area sports proves that mass human hibernation has been possible ever since the Raiders muffed the Super Bowl and the Niners traded Jeff Garcia.