President Obama and Attorney General Holder will get to the root of high gasoline prices

Or something.

In a timely effort to combat unanticipated increases in gasoline prices, President Obama and General Holder today flew separately onto the world stage, handsomely mounted on their white unicorns. They promised to “be vigilant in monitoring the oil and gas markets for any wrongdoing so that consumers can be confident they are not paying higher prices as a result of illegal activity.”  Other causes?  Shhhh! Earth Day is coming fast and Gaia hates to hear about those.


Their promise came despite a very few minor opportunities problems:

There’s not much Obama can do to affect the price of gasoline in short term, something he acknowledged in his remarks. Gas prices have risen steadily as a result of tensions in the Middle East and northern Africa and rising demand from China and other emerging economies.

Given that no evidence has yet surfaced of actual fraud or price manipulation in oil markets, Obama’s remarks appeared, at least in part, as more of an attempt to assuage public anger over rising gas prices.

Obviously,  Republican speculators and oil companies want to make a profit of some sort; that’s a throwback to wicked capitalist ways and socially unacceptable.

We need not be concerned, however. Even if gasoline prices continue, unexpectedly, to rise, there will be solar power aplenty as prices for that sort of stuff fall, as expected,  because of governmental Smart® Intervention.  That has happened with other outrageously expensive electronic devices. President Obama noted,

“Having a flat-screen TV used to be a big deal,” Obama said. But he said now such TVs are commonplace because prices have dropped so much.

While acknowledging he doesn’t spend much time these days behind the wheel, Obama said, “I’ve been in one of these Chevy Volts. This is a nice car. It drives well.”


He said when such vehicles become more affordable, “those of you out there driving that 8-mile-a-gallon SUV” should consider a purchase. Otherwise, by buying gasoline that likely came from imported oil, Americans “are putting money in the pockets of people who do not like us at all,” he said.

They “don’t like us at all?” He’s only being characteristically modest, but that’s silly. In fact, they love us to death due to his grand apology tours. Now, our very best friends are in the oil producing countries, such as Venezuela and other kindred spirits in the Middle East.

Sounds like trade in time for sure.


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