Culture

Man Steals Mummified Human Toe from Bar ... Wait, What?

The Sourtoe Cocktail preparation. That's a human toe, folks! (Photo courtesy of Traveling Otter/CC by SA 2.0)

I’ve been on this planet long enough to know that there are some weird things out there. Don’t believe me? Just watch reality TV sometime.

However, this story may be the weirdest I’ve encountered in a while.

The Sourdough Saloon in Dawson City, Yukon, has a drink called a Sourtoe Cocktail. Basically, it’s a drink of any alcoholic beverage with a mummified human toe in it, though whiskey seems to be preferred. The toe has to touch the drinker’s lips, after which he or she is initiated into “the club” and even gets a nifty certificate saying they did something that would squick most of us out pretty quickly.

Well, someone stole the toe. Seriously.

“We are furious,” said Terry Lee, the hotel’s toe captain who performs the Sourtoe ceremony. “This guy asked to do the Toe after the 9 to 11 p.m. toe time hours and one of the new staff served it to him to be nice — and this is how he pays her back. What a low life.”

[…]

In a statement, Lee said the man is from Quebec, had a French accent and had been bragging about possibly stealing the toe before he took the drink.

The hotel plans to fine the patron $2,500 and is offering a reward for anyone who has information about the theft. The man also left his certificate, which bears his name, and police are now investigating.

“Toes are very hard to come by,” said Lee. “And stunts like this adversely affect the whole community, not just the Downtown Hotel. We fortunately have a couple of backup toes, but we really need this one back.”

Toes are very hard to come by? I’d imagine. I’m not sure all that many people are lining up to donate their bodies to whiskey.

Then again, that doesn’t sound half bad.

Anyway, the drink sound kind of gross, but people also swallow the worms in tequila, so who am I to judge. But stealing a mummified human toe? Seriously?

“Hey, Joe! Get any souvenirs from your trip to Dawson City?”

“Yep. Check it out!”

“DUDE! Is that a human toe?”

“Yep! Why do you have your phone out? Why are you calling the police?”

Congratulations, whoever you are. You have now committed the most disgusting and disturbing petty crime of all time. You go with your bad self.

Preferably, you go with your bad self to get some psychological help, because I can’t imagine why any mentally healthy individual would steal a mummified human toe.