Culture

Maybe Nutella Is More Dangerous Than We Thought

Last weekend, everyone had a good laugh at the expense of CNN, which reported that the Islamic State was luring young western girls to join them by posing with kittens on social media and saying how much they like Nutella.

Now it looks like CNN may have been on to something. Firefighters in London are saying that sunlight refracting through a jar of Nutella started a house fire that killed the family dog and destroyed the home.

The AP reports:

London’s firefighters say sun rays refracted by a Nutella jar likely caused a house fire.

The city’s fire brigade says investigators believe the glass jar — which had been emptied of the hazelnut spread — had been placed on a window sill and refracted sunlight, setting blinds alight.

According to a statement posted Tuesday by the brigade, the family was not at home but the blaze killed a dog.

Fire investigator Charlie Pugsley said: “It sounds far-fetched that a jar containing a few rubber bands caused a severe house fire but that’s exactly what happened.”

The fire happened Feb. 15 in southwest London.

Nutella, the preferred spread of terrorists, responsible for a house fire in London? I don’t believe in coincidences. Obviously this is some kind of trial run — a test of weaponizing Nutella to cause mass casualties.

You have to ask yourself: what was an empty jar of Nutella doing on a windowsill? Who put it there? What deep, dark plot are the terrorists working on?

I never liked Nutella — seemed too “European” to me. Peanut butter, on the other hand, is the food of choice to treat people suffering from famine and hunger. Now, with this new, damning evidence that Nutella may not only be the spread of choice for terrorists, but perhaps even a weapon of choice, it’s time to take a second look at the product and decide whether it is appropriate to grace our grocery shelves.

Beware the hazelnut spread…

Also read: 

Why Peanut Butter Is Awesome and Amazing