Culture

Media Goes Wild For Democrat Ladies' Ugly Inaugural Fashion

AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite

If this is where fashion is heading, count me out.

“Blessed be the fruit,” said Gaga, before declaring the Hunger Games officially open and riding away on a giant battle dragon. (For the fact-checkers out there, that’s satire. Don’t flag me, bro.) There are so many dystopian tropes here, it’s hard to pick one. Then we have “Doctor” Jill Biden, who decided to dress up like a surgeon for the event in a cheap-looking too-blue tweed overcoat with an ugly velvet collar. Kamala Harris, meanwhile, dressed up like the Joker from Batman and Michelle Obama went for a Charlie’s Angels ’70s jumpsuit vibe. That one is the least bad of these outfits. The rest are just ugly. Jennifer Lopez looked like she made those pants out of some gymnastics costume fabric. But, you know, they’re woke and stuff so the media just loves it.

If these ladies came to slay anything it was our sense of good taste. NBC News gushed, “‘Masterful, tasteful, inclusive’: See the Inauguration styles of First Lady Jill Biden, VP Kamala Harris, former First Lady Michelle Obama.” NBC did not miss the opportunity to dunk on the most fabulously dressed and styled first lady the White House has ever seen.

[Melania] Trump, who shied away from the spotlight during her husband’s four years in the Oval Office, occasionally raised eyebrows for her fashion choices, including the pair of high heels she wore to observe relief efforts in hurricane-ravaged Texas in 2017, and the olive green coat bearing the words “I really don’t care. Do U?” that she wore to visit children in an immigration detention center a year later. During her husband’s last hours as President, Melania Trump was seen wearing an ensemble by non-American designers including Dolce and Gabbana, Christian Louboutin and Chanel along with a Birkin bag by Hermès worth more than $50,000.

“One would say there is power in ‘tradition’ and if that were the case, then Melania Trump would be a winner,” Barnett said. “However the fashion footnote that she leaves is steeped in elitism and her tone-deafness.”

Oh, brother. I don’t know about you, but I’m going to miss this flawless beauty.

Melania Trump’s fashion was perfection. She exuded grace and style and got nothing but grief and the cold shoulder from all these same magazines that are now fawning over some dumpy middle-aged house-fraus in bulky knit and tweed. They’re so transparent. Vanity Fair was orgasmic over the “sustainability” of that awful tweed thing on “Doctor” Jill.

Incoming First Lady Jill Biden wore an ocean blue wool tweed coat and dress by Alexandra O’Neill, who founded her label Markarian in 2017. The label is sustainability-minded, with all clothing made-to-order to reduce waste, and is named for “a particularly radiant grouping of galaxies.” Markarian has also been worn by the likes of Kerry Washington, Laura Dern, Lizzo, and other celebrities.

Vanity Fair petted Michelle Obama for her furry-animal sweater choice: Alpaca!

Clinton was not the only former First Lady striking a bipartisan tone— Michelle Obama wore a purple Sergio Hudson alpaca sweater and pants with a cashmere coat and a signature Sergio Hudson belt from his FW20 collection. Hudson launched his namesake brand in 2014, establishing an aesthetic defined by immaculate tailoring and infusions of androgyny paired with sensual silhouettes.

Androgynous probably is the right choice for Michelle. Some body types don’t do well in frills and flounces. Overall, I thought she looked the best out of the group of woke harpies in overly-saturated hues. But nothing — and I mean nothing — I saw at the inauguration of Not-My-President Biden came anywhere near the timeless classic look that Melania Trump brought back to the White House. And I’m old enough to remember that there wasn’t one fashion magazine that could bother themselves to comment positively about it. Losers.

Maybe I’d be nicer now if they had been nicer. But they weren’t. And they gaslighted us and tried to make us believe that this gorgeous, fashion-forward woman was so gauche they couldn’t be bothered to even mention her. It will be a cold day in Hell before I play along with this transparent, stupid game where we pretend that politicians’ wives and California’s former senator (famous for wearing ugly sneakers and incarcerating black men for non-violent drug offenses) are fashion icons and high-fashion model Melania Trump isn’t.

The winner of inauguration fashion by far is Melania Trump, who will forever stand out as a shining star among a bunch of dull rocks. But if we have to pick a fashion icon for the 2021 inauguration, the award definitely goes to Bernie Sanders.

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