Culture

Why Do We Need 'Wife Appreciation Day'?

What the heck is this? Sunday is “Wife Appreciation Day,” and I guess you’re supposed to go buy your wife candy and flowers and a card. Oh wait, that’s Valentine’s Day, or is it Sweetest Day? Honestly, I can’t keep it straight anymore. It’s a trap. This is one of those Hallmark holidays where the card makers get rich by selling more $7 cards. Make it stop! I love getting flowers and cards from my husband, don’t get me wrong, but doesn’t this seem a little unfair? They already have to remember your birthday, your anniversary, Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day and probably two or three more personal holidays you might have. Do women need another day?

Frankly, if you need a day to remind you to appreciate your wife, you’re doing it wrong. And as a wife, I don’t want to be appreciated because the calendar tells you to. I much prefer being on the ground mopping up something awful when my husband walks in and I turn around to say hi and he’s holding yellow roses for no reason other than they were pretty and he knew I’d like them. Or those moments when I’m frazzled trying to get dinner on and soothe a crying three-year-old and he comes to the rescue and takes the baby to play. Or when he tucks the kids in at night because I’m just done.

I know I’m appreciated when he takes my car that he hates driving (because it’s a mess) and fills it up with gas so I don’t have to because he knows I always forget to gas up the night before something important. Or when I go to take out the trash and he beat me to it. The thrill I get from seeing an empty garbage can is odd, I’ll admit. To me, it’s like Christmas. I feel appreciated when he slips me a rock he found on the ground that is shaped like a heart when we are out walking, or when he moves me to the inside of the sidewalk so he can be between me and traffic. It’s the little things that have accumulated over nineteen years of marriage. Nineteen years and I was nursing sick kids the week of our anniversary. He gave me a card and flowers. I gave him a cold.

If you’re with someone long enough, hopefully you’ll recognize those small tokens of appreciation that accumulate through the days and years. It’s something that one day cannot not possibly capture. If you do anything for Wife Appreciation Day, let it be a quiet reflection on how you can show your spouse how much you love and appreciate him or her every other day of the year. It doesn’t take much. It’s the little things.