Culture

Hooker or Homecoming Queen? You Decide

HomeHook -- 5

Homecoming season is upon us and all the bubbly teen girls have gone shopping for hours and come home with what they think is the perfect dress. Facebook and Twitter are awash with photos in front of suburban brick homes taken by proud parents. Expecting to see girlish dresses and big smiles, you cannot imagine my horror in viewing some of these photos, posted by mothers and fathers for all the world to see more of their baby girls than anyone really should. Pretty Woman, starring Julia Roberts as a street-walking prostitute, came out in 1990. In just 23 short years, what she wore on the streets of Hollywood Boulevard to pick up Richard Gere for an expensive hotel romp is now worn by pre-pubescent, suburban 15-year-olds to their first high school dance.

And these girls aren’t stowing their tiny dresses in backpacks to change once they get out of parental view, oh no! They are buying this stripper-wear with the permission of their parents and then posing for photos out in front of the family home. “Look at my daughter! Isn’t her tightly wrapped body and bare thighs stunning to look at?” This is incomprehensible parenting. My father did on many occasions stop me on my way out of the house with the standard, “That looks like underwear. Go put on some pants!” order. And my mother accompanied me to every dressing room and made me do embarrassing things in every outfit I tried on like, “touch your toes, bend over, jump up and down,” and am I glad she did. She saved me the embarrassment of having photos like these wandering around the Twittersphere. Parents, I don’t know where you’re going with dressing your little girls like $10 hookers, but I don’t think it’s wise. Is there anyone out there who understands what age-appropriate means? Further, is womanly beauty only able to shine through bedazzled hooker costumes? Out of all of these dresses, not one of them is beautiful or flattering to the girl wearing it.

To prove my point that one can’t tell which dresses belong on hookers and which belong on teenaged girls, I have compiled photos of actual hookers and teens on their way to homecoming. You try to figure it out.

HomeHook - 1

If you said “hooker,” you’d be wrong. This is a young teenaged girl going to a high school dance. She’d better hope she doesn’t drop anything because bending over is not an option in that get-up.

HomeHook -- 7

Alright, the streetlights probably give this one away. Those are hookers! But do you see the similarity yet? If ever these two strawberries need to run from the cops, they should try blending into a public high school dance.

HomeHook -- 3

This selfie was posted on Twitter by this non-hooker suburbanite showing off her Homecoming fashion. The good news is, if high school doesn’t work out, she could have a lucrative career on Hollywood Boulevard. Save that dress!

HomeHook -- 6

You guessed it! It’s America’s favorite hooker! That’s Julia Roberts in her prostitute costume. In the 90’s dressing like that was considered highly risque. Today, it’s just another “dress” for young teens to choose from when shopping for school dances.

HomeHook -- 4

Porn star, you might ask? Nope, this is what they’re selling your teen girls online when you Google “homecoming dresses.” The drunken, open-legged pose is so disturbing. Parents, your 15-year-olds want to be this girl. Think about that.

HomeHook -- 2

Not a hooker. Where I’m from, this is called “foundational undergarments” or Spanx. This is what you wear under your dress. It isn’t the dress. This girl has a lovely body, but there are better ways to highlight her beauty that don’t include spray painting a dress on her.

Parents, this is unacceptable. I know you can do a better job at helping your teenage girl make better choices by respecting herself and her body and not trying to look like a lady of the night. When she’s twenty and moved out, there isn’t anything you can do. But when she’s 15, you sure as heck don’t have to let her walk around like this in public. Here are a few resources to help you when prom time comes around.

When I showed these photos to one of my fashion-forward friends, he said, “They just look terrible! Why don’t they wear something beautiful like this instead?”

butterfly dress

This Marc Jacobs designer dress is definitely different than what is being sold to the teen set. It’s flattering, well-made, and isn’t screaming “look at all my junk!” which is a sure sign the teenagers will hate it. But it’s not about what they like. It’s about what’s good for them. Like broccoli. And isn’t there a happy medium? What about this dress?

cory

Any teen girl would love to have this dress but perhaps doesn’t choose it because stores don’t carry it. It’s beautiful, flattering, and still fun and flirty and grown-up enough to appeal to a teen. But you have to hunt it down on a Mormon website. Will someone please tell me what is wrong with dresses like these and why we can’t put our girls in something that prostitutes wouldn’t wear on their nightly prowl? Or is this what girlhood is now? Are we training our girls to accept the oversexualization and prostitute culture as normal and okay? Is that smart? What are we doing, America? The War on Women is alive and well and it’s dressing your girls like sluts. And who’s funding it? Parents.

Is there anyone left to fight for the dignity of their daughters?