Humans are strange, especially when it comes to poop. Holmdel High School in Holmdel, N.J., has been the target of a mystery pooper. Human feces has recently been found on or near the football field and track field on a daily basis, but no one knew who the defecator was. Until now.
Surveillance was set up to find the poopetrator (can you blame me?), and it was discovered that the guilty party was none other than Thomas Tramaglini, a Monmouth County resident—and the Kenilworth Public Schools SUPERINTENDENT. Yes, the man who is in charge of the school system in Holmdel, and is paid nearly $150K per year to do so, has been relieving himself almost daily on the football field.
so the superintendent of kenilworth got arrested for SHITTING ON A TRAck in holmdel LMfaooooo pic.twitter.com/fdhdOfzBRi
— B (@biancaxbenitez) May 3, 2018
Needless to say, Twitter had a field day (sorry again) with this one.
Overheard in the newsroom: "Yeah, hold on one second, I just have to publish something about a superintendent pooping." https://t.co/dxTFp106RZ
— Jessica Remo (@JessicaRemoNJ) May 3, 2018
Can you blame them?
— Kevin Wendt (@kwendt) May 3, 2018
Actually, this is pretty close to a bad Scooby-Doo…
This is like the world's worst Scooby Doo ending: "Mystery pooper at N.J. high school's track turned out to be superintendent, cops say"
— Steven Lemongello (@SteveLemongello) May 3, 2018
— John 🤦🏼♂️ Shabe (@johndshabe) May 3, 2018
Tramaglini will get paid leave following this scandal. Not a bad paycheck for his extracurricular activities:
"Tramaglini has taken a paid leave of absence from his $147,504 a year job in Kenilworth."
Making 150k a year and you're out there pooping on a high school football field "on a daily basis"? https://t.co/KFdujeKYN5
— Andrew Martonik (@andrewmartonik) May 3, 2018
Here was the entire charge:
— Steph Solis (@stephmsolis) May 3, 2018
And as to why a superintendent would choose to spend his time secretly defecating on school grounds? No one knows just yet…
— Myles Ma (@MylesMaNJ) May 3, 2018
The question on everyone’s mind …
— Alex Napoliello (@alexnapoNJ) May 3, 2018