Culture

The 10 Worst Wedding Ideas

Planning a wedding can be difficult and expensive. You want the evening to represent who you are as a couple, but you also don’t want to replicate every wedding everyone has ever been to (without breaking the bank). So you have to carefully select your decor, flowers, event space, food, music and other details. You want to make sure that you enjoy it, not just your guests. And you want it to memorable. But there are some wedding options or details that people choose that are just, well, plain awful. Or cringeworthy. Or just head-scratchers.

If you’re currently planning your wedding, you might want to steer clear of some of these options. Quite frankly, they’re doozies.

10. Terrible Dresses

It’s important to express your personal style in the gown you choose. Whether you’re shooting for elegant or fun is totally up to you. Lace? Satin? Go for it. But balloons? What if you come in contact with a sharp corner or get too close to an open flame at some point in the night? Bye bye dress, hello undies!

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9. Hay Bales

If you live and work on a farm, you get a pass here. But if you need to consult Pinterest to learn about thirty different ways to use hay bales for your wedding, just do-si-do your way to another decorative option. Hay is not comfortable to sit on, and it’s messy. Having a barn wedding? Cool. Rustic can be fun. But if your decor is making people wonder if the horses and cows are going to appear looking for their dinner, then you might want to consider something else.

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8. Baby Picture Masks

The idea behind this is kind of cute, but in practice it just ends up looking creepy. If you want to display pictures of yourselves as babies and young children, go for it. Heck, even a slideshow could be fun. But posing for pictures with giant baby photos over your faces seems odd and somehow reminiscent of a scene from “Honey I Blew Up the Kids.”

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7. Kissing Menu

As it is, the idea of making a new couple kiss whenever any guests decide to tap on a water glass can get annoying after the third or fourth time. But this kissing menu, this is worse. With this, the guests have to perform in some way in order to get the bride and groom to kiss. What ever happened to dancing, drinking and good conversation? Can’t that be enough?

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6. Camo Bridal Party Dresses

If you’re really into military or nature-inspired clothing, that’s your prerogative. But it just doesn’t go well with wedding bells. I can only imagine, twenty years down the line, whispering to your husband, “Honey, wasn’t it great how all of my bridesmaids looked like they emerged from the jungle to appear at our nuptials?”

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5. Marital Advice Boards

Every couple is different, and what makes every couple work is different. There isn’t much advice that is one-size-fits all, so why ask your guests to give their two cents on how your life together should go? Especially in a public way, like on an advice board! Plus, don’t forget that alcohol flows at weddings, so you have to be prepared for your inappropriate uncle to suggest that certain sex positions are the way to a long-lasting marriage.

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4. Bug Spray as Favors

Sure, it’s nice of couples to offer their guests bug repellent for outdoor weddings. But honestly, if your outdoor wedding is going to be that buggy, you might want to reconsider the venue/time of day/time of year. Getting mosquito bites is miserable, and no amount of Off really ever does the trick. Plus, how much will people like having red splotches all over themselves in all the photos from the event?

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3. Donut Wall

I actually had no idea that this was a thing. It is. And it’s a terrible idea. Why are there donuts on a wall? That’s not a way that anyone in history has ever served donuts. If you’re going to serve donuts at your wedding, put them on a plate. Any plate. Just don’t hang them on a hook.

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2. Goldfish Centerpiece

These poor fish. For the love of all things holy, keep live centerpieces far away from your party. What if your drunk guests start getting ideas and messing with the fish? What if someone puts food or alcohol in their water? Plus, are you going to personally house all the fish after the big day? If not, please consider flowers instead—or marbles, or candles. Just not live animals.

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1. Thumbprint Guest Books

The idea of having your guests’ fingerprints on a poster or book to remember your wedding day is kind of cute. But you need to consider the practicality of this one. These people put on their very best outfits for your event, and now they might ruin them because you asked them to ink up their hands. If you’re going to do this, there’d better be LOTS of baby wipes available nearby to help them get cleaned up.

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