End of Civilization? Millennial Woman Nets $200K Selling Something Nobody Should Want

Is this what feminist victory over The Patriarchy™ looks like?

Or is this end-stage capitalism?

Far be it for me to criticize this young lady too harshly. It beats techno-slaving at Amazon and peeing in bottles just to keep pace for $15/hr just to get another uptick in Jeff Bezos’ stocks.

The market has spoken.

Via Insider:

While [Stephanie Matto] was running an 18-and-over fan subscription platform, similar to OnlyFans, she received a lot of requests for her farts. “I always thought that was a complete joke,” she said.

But last year, she said, she decided to sell her farts as an “experiment” to see if anybody would actually purchase them.

Her first batch of 97, each selling for $500, ended up selling out instantly, she said. The second shipment, selling for $1,000, also sold out, she said. Matto said she made approximately $200,000 total.

 

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A post shared by Stephanie Matto (@stepankamatto)

Now, because of course, Matto’s upped her hustle and shifted to selling them as NFTs:

A digital artist reached out to her and suggested they make a collection of unique artwork, based on her bottled farts, to sell as NFTs. An NFT, or non-fungible token, is a unique identifier that can cryptographically assign and prove ownership of digital goods.

Matto said she jumped on the idea because she has a “very creative mind” when it comes to making money.

Clearly.

Matto ended up in the hospital due to her abnormal diet, which was apparently necessary to induce the flatulence that is her career.

Via LAD Bible:

Steph Matto, 31, from Connecticut, recently found herself in A&E with symptoms of a ‘heart attack’ after experiencing shooting pains in her chest.

Concerned doctors performed blood tests and an electrocardiogram (EKG/ECG) but later told the 90 Day Fiancé TV star that the symptoms were actually caused by excess gas from her frequent diet of beans, eggs and banana protein shakes.

This Roman Empire-esque level of depravity doesn’t bode well for the future of the American empire. Or maybe I’m just being histrionic.

“I’m a 21st-century digital boy
I don’t know how to read, but I got a lot of toys
My daddy’s a lazy middle-class intellectual
My mommy’s on Valium, so ineffectual”
—Bad Religion, 21st Century Digital Boy