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Kruiser's 'Worst Week Ever'—Crap, He's Actually President

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Yikes, That Just Happened

Apparently some dude named Joseph Robinette Biden is president now.

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I missed all of the inauguration broadcasts. I was very busy enjoying the heck out of my Wednesday while they were all going on. I went for a long bike ride, took a long shower, did a ton of laundry (how does one person dirty so many clothes?) and got my ridiculously long COVID shut-in hair cut.

It was Heaven.

Obviously, I know that Grandpa Gropes is POTUS now. But something occurred to me as I made my way through Inauguration Day with nary a care in the world. While my conservative friends, relatives, and colleagues were all a bit angsty, I was experiencing a kind of compartmentalization denial that had never hit me before.

True, I’ve been writing a lot about what a Biden presidency will mean for America but it was a purely intellectual exercise. I wasn’t feeling any of it. It’s been akin to writing speculative fiction about life on Mars. While it’s true that I wrote a book about being emotionally detached from politics, this was something very different. The detachment I preach usually involves some sort of initial irritated reaction. I’ve simply learned how to move on.

This felt like I was locking the anticipation and dread away somewhere that neither my head nor my heart had access to.

I have a theory about why that may be.

There is a BIG milestone birthday looming on the calendar for me this year. I won’t tell you which one, but it’s one I never pondered at all, despite the fact that I want to live to 120. It’s only since the calendar flipped to 2021 that I’ve begun to wrap my head around it. There are parallels here with politics.

For example, since I’ve always planned on living a long time it would make sense that I’ve at least given this next birthday some thought before. However, I believe I’ve been beset by an irrational fantasy about getting old without really growing old. I’d simply lock into a healthy middle age then — Poof! — suddenly I was in my hundreds.

Sort of like wanting to climb a long ladder without touching any of the rungs.

In politics, most Americans will tell you that they don’t ever want one-party rule. I know I truly believe that. If the Republicans were in charge of everything for any length of time I have no doubt that they would disappoint me.

If I really believe that I don’t like one-party rule here in the U.S. then it should follow that I understand that the Democrats have to win once in a while. Intellectually, I do. Emotionally, I can’t honestly say that I ever want them to win anything.

This time, instead of skipping milestone birthdays or rungs on a ladder, I want to skip the periods where Democrats are in charge.

But still avoid one-party rule.

I made no promises of rationality at the beginning of this quick post. I may even be more insane than our new president at this point.

It’s rather comforting, though. In fact, I highly recommend it.

I invite all of you to join me. Maybe I should host frequent denial-themed parties during the Harris-Biden years. We’ll have pictures of Reagan and Trump everywhere and drink until we forget that we ever voted for Mitt Romney.

Yeah, it’s outside the box.

It could just be the thing that gets us through this, though.

Namaste, mi amigos.

___

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PJ Media Senior Columnist and Associate Editor Stephen Kruiser is the author ofDon’t Let the Hippies ShowerandStraight Outta Feelings: Political Zen in the Age of Outrage,” both of which address serious subjects in a humorous way. Monday through Friday he edits PJ Media’s “Morning Briefing.” His columns appear twice a week.