Bear With Me Here…
Ever since Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) burst onto the national political scene a year ago she has been a ceaselessly erupting geyser of inane soundbites. There are days when it seems as if she is performing an extemporaneous Saturday Night Live skit, soliloquizing away, always desperately attempting to project an awkward gravitas that feels like she may have learned it from a YouTube video called, “How To Seem Super Super Serious and Stuff.”
One of the more bizarre aspects of AOC’s ongoing struggle with verbal diarrhea is that the media insists on celebrating everything she says actually having intellectual heft. Sure, it’s not unusual for the mainstream media to fawn over their own creations — Beto O’Rourke comes to mind — but the treatment of AOC stands out because she is truly a remarkably stupid woman.
I mean, a real paste-eater.
O’Rourke — a monumental moron in his own right — is the second coming of Einstein compared to Ocasio-Cortez.
Our girl Alexandria was at it again on Thursday, offering up perhaps her most stunning display of prime-time stupidity yet:
The Oversight Committee held a hearing Wednesday to discuss proposed changes to poverty line calculations made by the Trump administration. During the hearing, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez argued that, contrary to Trump’s claim in the State of the Union, Americans hadn’t been “lifted” off of food stamps, they had been “kicked” off.
Then she went into Bizzaroland:
.@AOC on America’s rags-to-riches ideal: “It’s a physical impossibility to lift yourself up by a bootstrap, by your shoelaces? It’s physically impossible. The whole thing is a joke.” pic.twitter.com/9WNf8UE06T
— Tom Elliott (@tomselliott) February 6, 2020
The Twitter reaction was swift, brutal, and quite entertaining:
Not sure what's funnier:
>AOC taking metaphors literally
>AOC, a former bartender who is now a congressman, dismissing the idea of pulling yourself up by the bootstraps https://t.co/VuMYnlEmtR
— Lauren Chen (@TheLaurenChen) February 6, 2020
Here is one of my favorites:
It's a physical impossibility to be in a pickle. Inside an actual pickle?? Our bodies are too big. It's physically impossible. The whole thing is a joke! https://t.co/fe6rSHzmaj
— Gretchen Lynn (@Bubola) February 6, 2020
And on it went.
As I entered the discussion, someone suggested that maybe AOC might be playing some sort of three-dimensional chess that the rest of us just don’t get. I wasn’t buying it:
Nah…she's just dumb. https://t.co/CqOPpRZMlz
— SFK (@stephenkruiser) February 7, 2020
One follower (@Chaucerisms) then suggested something that is now probably my favorite new conspiracy theory: that AOC is a Republican plant, the GOP’s own Manchurian candidate, snuck into office from the Left fringe to disrupt the Democrats and make them look bad.
If you think about it, she causes Nancy Pelosi more headaches than she does the Republicans. AOC is the reason, after all, that Granny Boxwine rushed impeachment and had it blow up in the party’s face.
It’s more comforting to indulge this fantastical notion than it is to think that someone who is too stupid to be left alone near electrical outlets or sharp objects is a congressional juggernaut.
If the Republicans are lucky, she will keep talking in front of a camera every day until the election.
From the Mothership and Beyond
Smells Like Onion
— The Onion (@TheOnion) February 6, 2020
The Kruiser Kabana
Let’s bedazzzle the heck out of the weekend.
PJ Media Associate Editor Stephen Kruiser is the author of “Don’t Let the Hippies Shower” and “Straight Outta Feelings: Political Zen in the Age of Outrage,” both of which address serious subjects in a humorous way. Monday through Friday he edits PJ Media’s “Morning Briefing.”