An Argument For Handing Out Lockdown Weed

Maybe it’s the isolation, or the constant moving of the goalposts further down the road, or maybe it’s the nonstop squabbling of my three children who are reaching the end of their tolerance for each other and this never-ending lockdown, but my thoughts have recently turned to how much fun it was to smoke weed in college. In particular, I miss the effects of not caring what stupid or bothersome thing was happening because a bag of Doritos, some good tunes, and soda was all one really needed to be happy. I don’t think I’ve smoked weed in fifteen to twenty years, but for some reason, the lockdown has made me sad that none of my friends is the type who might have a joint on them they would share and instead are all moms obsessed with kombucha.

I got uncool and now it’s come back to bite me.

Without some help forgetting about the dire situation in which we find ourselves, rebellion may start taking root. Some of us are beginning to remember that document sitting in the National Archives that has that stuff in it about freedom from unreasonable governors who think they can tell us what to do and when. If the governors were smart, they would declare weed essential and mandatory right now. If they want a happy and compliant populace, weed is the answer. I’m not just making this up because I would like to have some. There’s an actual study that shows people who are smoking weed in lockdown are happier and have a positive outlook. The rest of us are scared sh*tless.

American Marijuana conducted a study of weed-smokers in quarantine. It studied a lot of questions that can be seen at the link but the one that interested me was how people felt about the lockdown.

A solid 54% of marijuana users are chill af. “Everything will be alright” is their mantra. Another 5.56% just don’t care (which would also be preferable to “worried sick”). If regular marijuana users are in a state of well-being, shouldn’t the rest of us have a shot at that? I mean, if there’s no end in sight to this government-imposed house arrest, the least they could do is offer us some weed. There’s only so much alcohol one can drink before getting sick and depressed. I’d rather have a joint and get the giggles.

Who’s with me?

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