Why Are Asian Women Getting Sucker-Punched Left and Right?

Eric Risberg

It seems there have been a lot of sucker punches in the news lately. Though I wholeheartedly disagree with this practice, I must say that “Suck Punch” is a great name for a refreshing, summer cocktail.

Sucker Punch

  • 2 oz. Tanqueray Sevilla Orange gin
  •  .5 oz. Luxardo Cherry liqueur
  • .75 oz. lime juice
  • fill with pineapple juice
  • garnish with Tipsy cherry

If 2020 will be known as the year of COVID-19, election fraud, and Fauci being a dolt—and I believe it will be known for ALL of these things—2021 is shaping up to be the year of anti-Asian assaults, America’s decline, and sucker punches on defenseless people. Every other day seems to bring news of yet another fiend engaging in an “unprovoked” sucker-punch attack, frequently on seniors. Exactly how DOES a 75-year-old Asian woman “provoke” an attack on a 30-year-old dude?

Tough guy Cedric Charles Moore Jr., 27, of Cape Girardeau, Mo., was just given seven years for sucker-punching a 12-year-old street dancer on July 3, 2020. Moore, who is black, punched the 12-year-old white kid from behind, leaving him with a concussion. In a feat of cinematographic genius that would impress Roger Deakins, Wright slugged the child directly in front of a video camera that was airing the street dance performance on Facebook Live, making the police work easy-peasy. Moore was charged with second-degree assault but not a hate crime. Eleven months later the child is still dealing with dizziness.

The New York Police Dept. (NYPD) is still looking for the super-hero who sucker-punched a 75-year-old Asian woman last week in Queens. The woman, whose name was withheld as the family fears another attack, was left with a broken nose, two black eyes, and a fractured eye socket. Fortunately, the miscreant was kind enough to lower his mask and attack the woman in an area with two video cameras rolling, giving police a clear shot of his face.

The NYPD arrested yet another badass for sucker-punching yet another Asian woman on the streets of Manhattan. Alexandra Wright, 48, was charged with assault and a hate crime after knocking out his 55-year-old victim with a single swing. He had been arrested 17 times prior and eight times in the past year alone for assault or starting fires (yay bail reform). After punching the woman he stopped and asked her, “Why did you hit me?” Apparently, he didn’t realize there was a video camera behind him recording everything.

It seems the liberal New York City bigots don’t realize that there are cameras EVERYWHERE. Last month, a man shouting homophobic trash sucker-punched a man in a New York City CVS. The NYPD Hate Crimes Task Force is looking for the thug now. His identity, if known, hasn’t been released by the police.

We are just a few days into summer. It hasn’t even gotten hot yet and Anti-Asian crimes from 2019-2021 are up a staggering 833% in New York City, most of which are “unprovoked” sucker-punches, frequently against women and/or people over 55 years old. Wait until the heat kicks in. My Magic 8-Ball predicts Chicago will become Afghanistan, anti-Asian violence will skyrocket even more, especially in New York City and San Francisco, and CNN will somehow blame Trump.