Many times I notice that people become depressed over concerns of failure or just plain inertia. I am reading a good book about how to overcome those obstacles called, a href=”http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0470399937?ie=UTF8tag=wwwviolentkicomlinkCode=as2camp=1789creative=9325creativeASIN=0470399937″emGet Off Your “But”: How to End Self-Sabotage and Stand Up for Yourself./em/aimg src=”http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=wwwviolentkicoml=as2o=1a=0470399937″ width=”1″ height=”1″ border=”0″ alt=”” style=”border:none !important; margin:0px !important;” / The book is written by Sean Clinch Stephenson who is one of the leading authorities on the deconstruction of self-sabotage (what he calls getting people off their BUTS). br /br /Stephenson was born with brittle bones disorder (Osteogenesis Imperfecta) that kept him wheelchair bound, so he understands what adversity is. He offers six lessons throughout the book beginning with simple ways to connect with others and make ourselves human. He also says to connect with oneself and has an interesting section called “words can heal, and words can kill.” I was a bit skeptical of this approach as it seemed extreme but his reasoning made some sense. He makes the point that for some people, the inner voice gets so hurtful that they believe that the only way they can shut it off is by taking their own life. br /br /After reading a href=”http://pjmedia.com/blog/ask-dr-helen-suicide-men-and-money/”some of the comments on my PJM suicide and men column /afrom yesterday, frankly, I believe Stephenson is correct–the way we talk to ourselves can harm or even kill us. The way one talks to oneself can be changed and with that change, life can improve. br /br /Other wise advice, the book says, is to choose your friends wisely, own your life–the good and the bad, and become responsible for how you act in response to abusive or negative events in your life right now. It seems to be a decent book for those of you who may want to get some advice on how to end self-sabotage. And this is as true for men as it is for women.