A Bit of an Over-Reaction?

I saw on author John Scalzi’s blog that his wife, Krissy,a href=”http://www.scalzi.com/whatever/004449.html” had a run-in with a drunk at a bar/a who was apparently trying to pick her up (Hap tip: a href=”http://instapundit.com/archives/032477.php”Instapundit)./a Scalzi states:br /br /blockquoteShe basically ignored him for most of the evening, until the point where the guy actually tried to touch her. At which point she shoved him up against a wall, jammed her arm into his throat and said, “I have had enough of you being rude and disrespectful toward women. The next time I see you, you will be polite and show respect.” At which point the dude started blubbering all sorts of drunken apologies./blockquotebr /br /Scalzi shows a a href=”http://www.scalzi.com/whatever/004449.html”picture of Krissy /awith a baseball bat and a caption reading, “Respect me for me. Or because I will beat the holy crap out of you. Really, it’s your choice.” How charming. So the implication is that if one is a woman, she can beat the crap out of someone for “disrespecting her?” This regressive behavior is typical of the violent youth I see who have so little impulse control that they beat someone up for “dissing them.” I would hope a grown woman of Krissy’s obvious intelligence would have more sense than that. But no. She decides that a man in an open public place emjust trying to touch her /emwarranted shoving him against a wall and putting her hand to his throat. br /br /Apparently the a href=”http://www.scalzi.com/whatever/004449.html”female commenters to this post /a advocate assault against men and are as regressed as Krissy, if not more so:br /br /blockquoteMost excellent.It reminds me of when my friend Shernita confronted with an aggressive yahoo who referred to her as a [n-word – sorry, can’t even type it] in a bar. She asked if that was le mot juste, and on being provided with an affirmative, politely introduced the speaker’s face to her knee./blockquote br /br /blockquoteKrissy Rocks! I’ve always wanted her to guest post…or start her own blog. But now I know that she is too busy doing the essential task of keeping men in their place./blockquotebr /br /blockquoteNote to Krissy: I have found the breaking of fingers is also quite effective, as I believe you noted earlier. Were you channeling Jane?/blockquotebr /br /If a man lost his self control and put his hand to a female admirer’s throat, think of the repurcussions. He might be arrested for assault or at least thrown out of the bar. Instead, a woman is seen as really cute and a real sexual turn-on as is stated by one of the a href=”http://www.scalzi.com/whatever/004449.html”male commenters to the post/a, “I think I just got a hard-on…” Talk about sexist–the real sexism here is by male and female commenters who act like a women’s act of violence is so ineffectual, it should be labeled as cute and sexy.br /br /Krissy had a number of options before she used violence in this situation, for it is not one of self-defense like someone breaking into your house or holding you up on the street. It is a common annoyance that happens in bars and does not usually warrant a choke-hold as an initial reaction. She ignored the guy initially–great–but that didn’t work. The next step might have been to talk firmly to the guy, if that didn’t work, some verbal humiliation might be next along with some verbal intimidation. Perhaps she could have gone next to the manager and told him or her that this man was bothering her–they might have put him out. After that, if he physically touched her, a warning that physical consequences would follow might be next and then they should follow.br /br /But to start with violence, to me is an over-reaction, and one that she and her husband, along with their joyous commenters should not be celebrating. It is giving women license to use force when no clear danger is present other than dealing with annoying drunks who find them attractive. Is this annoying?–yes. Upsetting?–yes. But deadly? It sure didn’t seem that way from the description. br /br /Fathers teach boys the boundaries of when and how to use violence appropriately–at least they used to. Boys with good role models for fathers teach them how to control their aggressive impulses when necessary as well as when to use them appropriately in the right situation. Perhaps we should be teaching the same concepts to girls and women.br /br /When I write about self-defense, people often accuse me of favoring violence in general. But that’s not true. Violence in self-defense is different from violence in response to “disrespect.” Part of being responsible is being . . . responsible.br /br /strongUpdate/strong: Krissy posts a response a href=”http://www.scalzi.com/whatever/004449.html”to a commenter’s questions/a:br /br /Several questions: br /br /Did she ask him, politely or not, to leave her alone first before actually attacking him? br /br /Why is it that everyone here seems to be turned on by belligerent, butch women? br /br /Do you know any lawyers? Because if she actually hits someone who annoys here with a bat you’re going to need one. br /br /Krissy | September 10, 2006 05:28 PMbr /br /K – br /br /- Yes, I did ask him several times to leave it alone.br /br /- I may be a bitch woman but I am neither butch nor belligerent.br /br /- I did not actually hurt the little man.br /br /strongUpdate II:/strong Why is it that a href=”http://alicublog.blogspot.com/2006_09_10_alicublog_archive.html#115793083395497934″lefty bloggers can never understand /athe difference between self-defense and a bar room brawl? Could it be that in the former instance, a person is puting into practice their second amendment rights and in the latter one (at least in the above instance) a woman is humilating a man?br /br /strongUpdate III:/strong John Scalzi a href=”http://www.scalzi.com/whatever/004449.html”updated his post /ato say that Krissy was grabbed and not just touched. My post was in response to his original one saying that the man emtried to touch her/em– if he had originally stated that the man had grabbed her etc., my post would have read differently as that would have been more evidence that the measures she took, were indeed, warranted. However, I am still of the opinion that promoting a picuture with a caption that advocates extreme measures–beating the crap out of others–for disrespect–is not socially useful. “Disrespect” is not generally a concept one can use as a legal defense to warrant using self-defense.br /br /Vox Day has a href=”http://voxday.blogspot.com/2006/09/tale-of-two-women.html” more thoughts on the incident/a–very reasonable ones, I might add.