Why Are Liberals Still Angry?

The liberals were crazy angry while George W. Bush was president. Part of it was that for a time after 9/11, they were made completely irrelevant — when people are dying, who is going to listen to a liberal?

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But another part of it is that it’s much easier to hate a person than to hate a concept — like conservatism. So they were able to channel all their hate into President Bush. And they were jumping-around-pooh-flinging-biting-each-other angry. I think a number of conservatives were secretly looking forward to the Obama presidency in hopes that liberals might just calm down a little. Maybe they’d even consider supporting the troops in their war efforts for a change. At least, maybe they would be a bit less angry.

Big miscalculation.

Now conservatives have more reason to be angry these days, with liberals in charge and all the spending and government takeovers. But with Democrats having complete control of the government, you’d think liberals could be dismissive of conservatives and be calm themselves. But no, they’re still crazy angry. Maybe even angrier than before. Biting-fingers-off angry. They’re screeching about how all the people opposed to Obama are racists and neo-Nazis and stupid, and they’re using sexual slurs against protesters and boycotting everyone who disagrees with them. They’re still nuts, but why?

See things from their point of view. The most fundamental principle liberals have is that they are all very, very smart, and everyone should listen to them. Nothing angers them more than something that challenges them to reexamine that core tenet. And that’s why they were so delighted by the election of President Obama and further wins in the House and Senate. For a moment they thought the American people had recognized liberals as their superiors and said to them: “Please! Smart people! Lead us and tell us what to do!”

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Of course, it is quite obvious right now that that’s not at all what the election was about. The Republicans had been screw-ups for a while, and with the failing economy (people tend to vote for the president based on the economy, which is only a tad smarter than voting based on the weather, but whatcha gonna do?), most people just felt they couldn’t reward the Republicans with leadership again. Also, many people were tired of the hostility between conservatives and liberals (though I’m not sure why Republicans got the blame, since we could have had bipartisanship if at any time liberals had decided to stop being a bunch of screeching ninnies who mindlessly opposed whatever Bush was for). Then came along Barack Obama, who promised non-specific hope and change, and everyone was like, “Non-specific hope and change sounds like a great idea!”

But now we can see the problem. After Barack Obama was elected, he started doing specific things. Liberal things. No one voted for that, so Obama’s approval ratings have dropped faster than those of any president before him. And you can see why liberals are so frustrated. They had a charismatic liberal overwhelmingly elected with Democratic majorities, and even he is utterly failing to sell liberalism to the American people.

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This was the best chance they could ever possibly imagine, and it’s already pretty much over. Liberal ideas are still in the ghetto. While conservatives can still openly call themselves conservatives and argue directly for things they like (such as gun rights and free markets), liberals still have to run from their label and never dare say out loud the things they want, such as socialism and single-payer health care. How could liberals not see this coming? Are they not as smart as they think?

Having to even contemplate such a horrible possibility is enough to drive a liberal mad.

So they lash out. Since they are obviously so smart (obviously!), the only reason anyone could oppose them is that the person is stupid and evil. Thus everyone protesting must be a stupid racist. It’s the only conclusion possible without having to reexamine the central tenet that liberals are super smart and should totally run everything. And if you were under the delusion that you were surrounded by stupid racists who won’t listen to your obviously smart ideas, wouldn’t you be pretty angry all the time?

So what to do? Conservatives are stuck with the increasingly impotent Obama until at least 2012, so even as the public is like, “Oh yeah; we hate liberals. Why did we vote for one?” it’s not like there are going to be any opportunities to pass conservative legislation any time soon.

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Or can there be?

Since it seems there is nothing to stop the left from being crazy angry, let’s just see how insane we can make them. Then we can get them to direct that anger at Obama.

The far-left (like the Kos Kids) didn’t even like Obama in the beginning of the Democratic primary; they liked Edwards (because of how smart they are). Now Obama has shown that he’s not the most adept politician, but he will eventually figure out that he’s going to have to do a few centrist-to-right-leaning things if he doesn’t want everyone (who matters) to hate him.

That will just start stirring up the left with: “He’s a betrayer! We had our best opportunity to enact liberalism, and he squandered it!” Then they’ll start screeching and shaking their cages and throwing poo and probably even using racial epithets until Obama just can’t stand the left anymore (see former Democratic vice-presidential candidate Joe Lieberman).

Now, it’s a complex thing to get someone to change his political philosophy, but I have found that the most reliable motivator is spite. And we’ve all seen the angry left-wing loons. If you had crazed hatred directed at you by that many useless people, wouldn’t you want to respond with spite?

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Americans don’t like liberalism. Obama was only elected because Americans like people who say happy things, but it was in no way meant as an endorsement of liberalism. As liberals start to realize this, they’re only going to get screechier and angrier. So we might as well figure out a way to use that.

Who knows, maybe one day we can even figure out how to direct it against America’s enemies.

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