PJ Media

Happy Birthday, Dear Leader Kim Jong-Il

The deficit and other petty problems of the United States are well on their way to bipartisan solutions. Freedom, prosperity, democracy, and peace have returned to Arab lands due to President Obama’s multicultural outlook. Now that Obama has taken to slamming Israel and apologizing for the wicked ways of the United States before she came under his leadership, it seems appropriate to examine the many ways in which the Democratic Peoples’ Republic of [North] Korea (DPRK) is continuing to show the rest of the world how to achieve those same goals for all. There are important lessons to be learned if only we will look and listen.

The DPRK is celebrating the sixty-ninth birthday (or seventieth — it all depends on how one counts) of Kim Jong-il, its hereditary Great Leader, eventually to be replaced by his son Kim Jong-un, the Brilliant Young General. The synchronized dancing and swimming demonstrations were remarkable as was the evident rapture of the appreciative spectators.

Not to be outdone by the human celebrations, nature got into the act by displaying a large bright halo over the sacred manger mountaintop where the Great Leader was born:

The bright sun rose up, throwing its brilliant rays and the area of the Paektusan Secret Camp turned into a fascinating picturesque of spring. Then rarely big and bright halo persisted in the sky above Jong Il Peak for an hour, starting at 09:30.

There is no truth to any rumor that President Obama is jealous or that he plans to release any personal information to assuage the illegitimate concerns of those who do not know for certain where he was born and hence have been unable to arrange similar natural events in his honor; he is too modest and self-effacing to desire that sort of thing.

Candid reports of the glories of the DPRK can be found here; they counterbalance rabid lies seeping into the DPRK from foreign countries:

North Koreans are enduring a winter of discontent exacerbated by total lack of electricity for home heating or lighting. In Pyongyang, says Mr. Ha, electrical power is a luxury that few are qualified to receive. Residents have battled the sub-zero cold, he says, by draping vinyl over windows and doors.

Along with news about Egypt are photos of Kim Jong-il quaffing a glass of wine and of the faces of his oldest, Kim Jong-nam, and youngest, Kim Jong-un, in line to succeed his father as North Korea’s leader, the headline reads, “Republic of Fat.”

“They’re sick because they ate too much,” says the caption under the pictures. Opposite those are pictures of emaciated children and a young woman whose body was discovered in a field after she starved to death. “This woman is picking clover not for a rabbit but for herself,” the caption says.

Great Leader Kim feels the pain of his flock, and it has been reported that he may even be resorting to fake designer goods to distribute to his loving people as his birthday gifts to them because that’s all he can afford. As recompense and to spare the people the pain of trying to understand the situations in Egypt and elsewhere, all news of that sort of nonsense has been blacked out.

Meanwhile, the DPRK has completed its second missile launching tower (a Voice of America headline says “Space Launch Site”) at Tongchangdong, near the border with China, and appears to have expanded and modernized its uranium enrichment program. It may conduct another nuclear test late in 2011 or early 2012 as its way of demonstrating its hopes for peace to a critical and suspicious world.

Doubtless unrelated, the DPRK has directed its ambassadors to forty nations to beg for food and the United Nations is considering three hundred thousand tons of humanitarian relief for the happy and prosperous residents of the DPRK.

The government of the DPRK has informed WFP that further assistance is needed as the current severe winter is expected to have an impact on the early spring harvest. The recent vegetable harvest was also lower than expected. . . .

North Korea’s state media reported last week that foot-and-mouth disease has spread across the country, and thousands of livestock, including cows and pigs, have died.

The U.N. assessment is initially being conducted by local staff in North Korea. International staff from Rome and Bangkok will arrive Feb. 20, Luescher said, adding that the mission will continue until March 6.

Petty and unjustified concerns have been expressed that food aid might go to the glorious military forces of the DPRK; obviously, that could not happen because the scrupulously trustworthy leaders there would not permit it. Their interests lie solely with the welfare of the common people.

It is of no apparent significance that, at a session in celebration of the Great Leader’s birthday, the Supreme People’s Assembly warned South Korea that “if South Korea decides to rupture dialogue and choose confrontation, it will be solely responsible for the destructive consequences.” The message continued, in a friendly and peace-loving way, to note that the South Korean government’s “anti-national and anti-unification scheming, rejection of dialogue and failure to improve inter-Korean relations to provoke confrontation can never be tolerated.” Surely, all true lovers of peace, tranquility, freedom and democracy must agree.

Man-made global warming is obviously at fault for any food shortages in the DPRK since the Great Leader’s amazing initiatives in achieving peace, human rights and improved food and fertilizer production have strangely not been able to keep pace with the perversions of nature due to the rapaciously destructive activities of the imperialistic West.

Fortunately, Communist China (herself in line for food shortages due also to the ravages of global warming) is coming to the aid of the free people of the DPRK by increasing imports from that unjustly beleaguered nation:

North Korea’s exports to China jumped 51 percent to $1.2 billion last year, led by iron ore, coal and copper, Chinese government data show. China’s sales to its ally rose 21 percent to $2.3 billion from a year earlier, with supplies of wheat and oil helping ease chronic shortages of fuel and food. Two-way trade fell 4 percent in 2009, when the United Nations tightened sanctions after Kim’s regime carried out a second nuclear test.

The revival in commerce contrasts with U.S. efforts to isolate North Korea after a year in which 50 South Koreans died in attacks that roiled markets. Kim needs China to meet a pledge to put “rice with meat soup” on every table and build a “thriving nation” by 2012, the centennial of his father and the nation’s founder, Kim Il Sung.

China recognizes the great potential of the DPRK under its Great Leader and eventually under the Brilliant Young General, his son. On February 14, the DPRK and China signed an agreement to step up security cooperation and China’s Public Security Minister Meng Jianzhu expressed confidence that “North Korea’s people will reach success in building a prosperous socialist state under the leadership of Kim Jong-il.”

It is so very sad that most imperialist Western nations, of which the United States has long been the worst, are unable to see the wisdom of this view and to help the starving and oppressed citizens of the DPRK as has and is China. Even Nobel Peace Prize recipient President Obama has failed adequately to recognize the past and continuing reckless disregard by the United States of the rightful and exalted place of the DPRK in the worldwide community of nations. Although well intended, this sort of advice from the U.S. State Department seems unlikely to be sufficient:

Kim Jong-Chol, second son of the leader of the isolated, hardline communist state, attended a concert in Singapore this week by the British guitarist, a South Korean intelligence official told AFP.

“Kim Jong-Il’s son attended an Eric Clapton concert in Singapore? Actually, the Dear Leader himself would benefit from getting out more often,” U.S. State Department spokesman Philip Crowley said on the microblogging website Twitter.

“Of course, there is nothing preventing Kim Jong-Il from opening up North Korea so his people could enjoy Clapton, and maybe get more to eat,” Crowley said in another tweet.

President Obama, who has already done so much to for the United States, must himself go very soon and humbly apologize to the peace loving leaders of the DPRK and to their devoted people for our countless sins and derelictions. Mrs. Obama should certainly go with him and show them the way to healthy and joyous lives.