PJ Media

It's a Wonderful Leftist Life

When we last left our hero in Bedfellow Falls, George “Barry” Bailout was back in business providing loans once again to the working poor on the streets of Bailout Park. As you may remember, Barry was despondent after Uncle Barney somehow managed to misplace the cooked books at the Fannie and Freddie deposit window and decided to try to find a way to blame the “greedy bankers” instead.

The bank examiners were threatening to shut down the entire operation, mostly because it was based upon a sham in the first place, but Uncle Barney refused to let them examine the books, repeatedly claiming that nothing was amiss. Barry wants to travel the world, see places like Marbella and Southeast Asia. Maybe play a little golf. He’s also a little hard of hearing. This makes it very hard for him to listen to all the people around him telling him to stop losing their money, to stop putting Uncle Barney in charge of investigating Fannie and Freddie, and to start concentrating on fixing the loss of eight trillion dollars. Barry keeps telling everyone that they are crazy, stupid, and don’t understand as he drives his car into a tree, while drinking a Slurpee.

When Uncle Barney had been arrogantly lording his latest headlines from the lapdog media in everyone’s face, as he always does, the collapse came. He turned to Pelosi, the kingpin of leftist bullying tactics, and she went to work. They held secret meetings, deprived investors of key information, locked out examiners, went to work skulking behind the scenes to cram down unread and wildly unwieldy mammoth proposals that nobody wanted. Uncle Barney asks Pelosi Savings and Loan to write a blank check, using money from its depositors without their permission. Pelosi thinks of all the power that comes with all the citizens of Bedfellow Falls being in debt, cackles, and says yes, of course.

Meanwhile , Barry Bailout is overwhelmed. He’s clearly in over his head. He goes on a bender and takes a real shellacking. He looks to the heavens and is sent down a messenger, Christie Clairvoyance Odbody. Barry is shown how nanny state intrusion leads to disaster. How people are murdered when borders are treated as walking paths with no turnstiles, drug cartels ravage the states, people are groped at airports, prostitution rings are run in Uncle Barney’s basement, and Bedfellow Falls becomes Pelosiville, a degenerate pit of hedonism, graft, corruption, and other Democratic Party pastimes.

Barry Bailout is supposed to have a honeymoon period, and his brother Harry Bailout is supposed to help run the financial empire, but Harry proves to be utterly useless and self-absorbed. He’s a hood ornament on the car being driven off the bridge.

Pelosiville is a shambles, polling places have armed thugs at them who are not prosecuted, our men and women in the military are denied ballots on time to vote, crooked voter rolls are not fixed, and there are no jobs. The depositors hold a tea party and everyone in Bedfellow Falls says they want change, but Pelosiville cares not one whit about where the money comes from; it only cares about its own agenda.

Announcing that they are proud of all that they have “accomplished,” they decide to circumvent the will of the depositors and eliminate all rules and regulations. Bedfellow Falls will be run by “executive appointments,” over whom bank examiners and depositors have no authority. Six hundred billion in notes are ripped from the vault, devaluing the deposits of the depositors and Barry Bailout is beaming with pride.

The transformation of Bedfellow Falls marches on. Redistributive health care, redistributive auto manufacturing, redistributive justice at polling booths, in airports, and in courts, redistributive energy, redistributive rules of governance.

And every time the bell on Wall Street rings in another crashing day, a Socialist gets his wings.