50 shades of what? I got way better than that, but we have to go back to 1986, via 1972.

I didn’t think often of Joe Cocker during the ’70s and the first half of the ’80s. I mostly knew him as that guy who, on whatever music show I’d seen, got all contorted on stage while singing “You Are So Beautiful.” But while I was busy pretty much ignoring him, he was busy recording this oft-covered Randy Newman tune.

And with it came Kim Basinger. And Nine 1/2 Weeks. And this Top Ten Moment of All of Cinematic History Ever and Forever.

I’ll be in my bunk.