I have 39 of “40 Things Every Self-Respecting Man Over 30 Should Own.” The one I don’t have is the Leatherman, which I’ve never found as nice or as convenient to use as a Swiss Army Knife and a pair of needle nose pliers. And the record player hasn’t been actually wired into anything for years.

Curiously, I had them all except for the Leatherman and an umbrella (of all things) by my late 20s, before marrying Melissa. I came “pre-trained,” as she like to say.

I also don’t understand why a black suit. If you own only one suit, it should be navy. You buy black as your third or fourth suit, after you add charcoal and then maybe something summer weight, like a light gray Glen plaid. But navy will get you in and out of everything from a job interview to a casket.

Are you missing anything?

(Hat tip, Glenn — who’s still carrying a kid’s wallet? Really? Still, he’s got the Leatherman.)