My Name is Inigo Montoya and I’ll Be Your Captain Today
January 24th, 2013 - 5:49 am
This is not the man you need to kick off the airplane.
This is the guy you want to sit next to on the airplane, so you can see how many Princess Bride quotes you can work in between DEN and LAX.
I’m just — just — old enough to remember when people still got dressed up for travel. I think the second time I wore a tie was on an airplane. I’ve long since given up expecting anybody to do that any more, although I think everybody agrees that nobody should have to look at your ugly man-toes for six hours. So put some real shoes on. And long pants wouldn’t kill you, either. But kicking somebody off a flight for wearing a somewhat-clever novelty t-shirt?
Madness. Scaredy-cat, politically-correct, cower-at-Big-Sis madness.
I think this, even more than Rocky Horror, is the most quotable movie ever made.
And I own that shirt. I am now committed to wearing it on my next flight. Maybe my next trip out to Denver?
I’m expecting you to bail me out, Steve.
I’d like to sit next to a guy like that. Probably have a delightful conversation.
I always get stuck sitting next to some crying baby, or some oversized hamster afraid to fly.
The last time I heard “That makes me feel threatened” I leaned over and said to the whiner, “Then you don’t know what threatened feels like.”
The coat & tie wearer is more likely to get bumped up front than the guy in a tank-top and huraches.
Once, sitting at the window with a not-hard-to-look-at lady in the center seat next to me, I pulled the info card from the seat pocket in front of me and verified the exit door locations. My aisle-mate asked, “Do you always do that?”
“Yes, I do. Then I say a little prayer.”
Cocking her head slightly, “Oh, are you religious?”
“Not terribly. I just say a prayer for everyone sitting between me and the nearest exit.”
A few years ago, I gave my neighbor (an F-16 pilot) a ride in my Piper Cherokee. It has one door on the right side of the fuselage where the passenger sits. I’ve read that when someone gets a ride in an Air Force fighter, the pilot tells them, “In an emergency, I’ll yell ‘eject, eject, eject!” and then you’re pilot in command.” I told him, “In the event of an emergency, I’ll yell ‘get out, get out, get out!” and then I’m climbing over your ass!” He got a good laugh out of that.
So, I guess my, “Hello, My Name is Ash” Army of Darkness t-shirt is also a no-go:
http://oldglory.com/lp/Army-of-Darkness-Hello-My-Name-Is-Subway-T-Shirt/p/41142?gclid=CL6QsMiogbUCFelFMgodCmAAww
Nobody is allowed to have a quirky sense of humor anymore, unless it is approved and certified by the Ministry of Politically Correct Humor Department; two doors down from the Ministry of Silly Walks and on the right.
They make you take off your shoes at the checkpoint, and even before that I always had to doff my belt buckle for the metal detectors. “Dressing up” for air travel these days only achieves slowing you and everyone behind you down at the least tolerable part of the process.
As or the t-shirt, I agree with leelu — people who don’t know what “threatened” feels like have no right to define the word for everyone, any more than people who don’t know what the words “offensive” or “hate” mean, have the right to define them.
He was kicked off for the buzzwords: kill, die. Kids were kicked out of school for drawing a gun or pointing a finger, so what is the big deal?
TSA should go thru all the papers and laptops to forbid those passengers who carry the scary buzzwords onto the planes. One never knows when these unhinged people will unhinge.
If I can drive there in about a day, I’m not gonna fly.
Dressing up for a flight gets old in a hurry when all the night’s sleep you’ll be getting is to happen in that torture seat. If I really need to have something presentable to go with my red eyeballs in the morning, I’ll change in Heathrow… and it’s shorts and flipflops for the flight, thank you.