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A Letter to Everybody

June 1st, 2009 - 8:17 am

Dear American Taxpayer,

Congratulations! You are now the proud part-owner of fabled US automaker, General Motors.

Acting on your behalf, your Federal government now owns 72.5% of the company, which manufactures American automobiles in places as diverse as Canada, Mexico, and South Korea.

It’s true your GM has gotten itself into trouble these last few years, which is why the President’s Automotive Task Force is now overseeing the company for you. Together, we hope to return GM to totally-private ownership just as soon as is “practicable.”

Together, our goal is to create a New General Motors, where management and union work hand-in-hand to build the cars America really wants: Smaller, more efficient, and safer (pick two).

But with ownership comes responsibilities, and you’ll have yours to shoulder, too. Your Presidential Automotive Task Force has hardly begun its work on reshaping GM, despite spending more than $50 billion of your tax dollars. Another $50 billion might still be required from you to protect your investment. Maybe more. And we’re sorry to have to tell you that for now, even after GM starts making money — which could happen any day now, we swear — it won’t be paying taxes.

Those are just a few of the many things we’re doing to protect your investment.

We’ll be writing to you again soon,

Your Government.

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