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Debate Drunkblogging — NEARLY LIVE!

April 16th, 2008 - 7:13 pm

7:13pm (All times, as always, Mountain) We’re kicking off a little late here in the VodkaCompound, as Melissa’s roast was especially good. And by that I mean we had to open a second bottle of wine.

Charlie Gibson is looking especially serious with his glasses way down on his nose, and George Snufflefagus always looks cute in his Big Boy haircut. And now, on to the debate. ABC has decide to play it semi-YouTube, with video from the candidates stump speeches. I think they’d get better ratings if instead they flashed Eliot Spitzer’s phone records or maybe stills from that Marilyn Monroe Sex tape. Anyway — onward.

7:14pm Speaking of ratings, is there one person anywhere who still cares what Mario Cuomo thinks? Why is Gibson using him as the basis for his opening question? Because let’s be honest: The only reason anyone anywhere still sometimes listens to Cuomo is because he never tried and failed to become President. See: Mondale, Dukakis, Gore, Kerry.

7:16pm That’s sweet, quoting the Constitution at Democrats. Might as well quote Ghandi at Stalin.

7:18pm Hilary just wants a Democrat to win in November. Uh-huh. That means one (or two) of two things: Either she knows just how high her negatives are, and/or she’s willing to take the bottom of the ticket.

7:19pm First Bittergate question. “Do you understand that some voters in this state find that patronizing?” Obama sticks by his “mangled” excuse. And then segues right back into the whole “we’re in difficult times” spiel. In other words, “You understood me just right, you redneck motherhumpers.”

7:20pm “This [religion] is a place where people can find some refuge.” I’m an atheist and Obama is a churchgoer, and yet I get the feeling I have more respect for Christians (at least white Christians) than Obama has.

7:21pm Hillary is the granddaughter of a Pennsylvania mill worker or something that John Edwards might have said. And doesn’t she seem the part?

7:22pm Seriously, Clinton is playing this well. She’s not claiming that people “cling” to guns or god because “times are bad.” She says simply that these are things people believe in. Had Obama made this statement a week ago, there might never have been a Bittergate.

7:24pm First question from George S, and all I can think is, “His colorist needs to let at least a little gray show through. He should hire whoever Steve Jobs is using.”

7:33pm We’re having technical difficulties over here. No idea what’s up. Back in a bit with a wrap up.

7:48pm I am so fed up right now with anything to do with technology that I’m going throw my laptop through the television then go outside and sit naked in the snow. The latter will help me imagine what life will be like next year after President Obama gets his tax increases.

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