He's All Heroic Like Elliot Gould or Somebody

Here’s the latest from Pravda or Izvestia or TASS or… no, wait, this one is from Reuters, believe it or not. Read:

MOSCOW, Oct 15 (Reuters) – Commentators were both amused and intrigued at the heroic light thrown on Russian President Vladimir Putin on Monday when he defied what he said were security service warnings of a plot to kill him in Iran.

“I don’t known if it’s true or not true, but it makes him look like a hero, if he goes there. It makes him look like Jean-Claude Van Damme, or Steven Seagal – it’s a drama,” said veteran Russian broadcaster Sergey Dorenko told Reuters.

In Putin’s Russia, a “veteran broadcaster” is one who hasn’t been shot twice in the belly and once in the head in a back alley somewhere, for once maybe having had some thoughts one time about perhaps saying something only 98% positive about Putin. Putting that aside, I still won’t make fun of Dorenko’s outdated action-star references. After all, I’m pretty sure that in the last ten years, the most exciting stunt Seagal or Van Damme filmed involved nothing more dangerous than walking the jetway in some foreign airport. Which is really all Putin will do, should he travel to Iran as scheduled.

And really, when it comes to airports, what’s the big difference between Tehran and Vancouver?*

*Actually, security against Islamic terrorists is probably tighter in Tehran.