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Laugh and/or Cry

October 28th, 2003 - 10:15 am

You probably remember the old Two Cows routine about different political philosophies. “Capitalism: You have two cows, sell one and buy a bull.” Or “Fascism: You have two cows, the government takes both and shoots you.” It went on forever.

Today Kat sent me a new entry:

CALIFORNIAN

You have a cow and a bull.
The bull is depressed.
It has spent its life living a lie.
It goes away for two weeks.
It comes back after a taxpayer-paid sex-change operation.
You now have two cows.
One makes milk; the other doesn’t.
You try to sell the transgender cow.
Its lawyer sues you for discrimination.
You lose in court.
You sell the milk-generating cow to pay the damages.
You now have one rich, transgender, non-milk-producing cow.
You change your business to beef. PETA pickets your farm.
Jesse Jackson makes a speech in your driveway.
Cruz Bustamante calls for higher farm taxes to help “working cows”.
Hillary Clinton calls for the nationalization of 1/7 of your farm “for the
children.”
Gray Davis signs a law giving your entire farm to Mexico.
The L.A. Times quotes five anonymous cows claiming you groped their teats.
You declare bankruptcy and shut down all operations.
The cow starves to death.
The L.A. Times’ analysis shows your business failure is Bush’s fault.

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