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The PJ Tatler

by
Bryan Preston

Bio

June 4, 2014 - 9:50 am

Spinster columnist Maureen Dowd flew to Colorado to eat marijuana candy so she could write about it and warn all you kids against doing the same stupid thing. She did her drug of choice alone, in a hotel room in a place far from home, which is kind of sad. But that’s a junkie’s life.

Sitting in my hotel room in Denver, I nibbled off the end and then, when nothing happened, nibbled some more. I figured if I was reporting on the social revolution rocking Colorado in January, the giddy culmination of pot Prohibition, I should try a taste of legal, edible pot from a local shop.

What could go wrong with a bite or two?

Everything, as it turned out.

Not at first. For an hour, I felt nothing. I figured I’d order dinner from room service and return to my more mundane drugs of choice, chardonnay and mediocre-movies-on-demand.

I strained to remember where I was or even what I was wearing, touching my green corduroy jeans and staring at the exposed-brick wall. As my paranoia deepened, I became convinced that I had died and no one was telling me.

It turns out that MoDo used some seriously strong stuff, and used it the wrong way, which made her whole trippy experience even worse. But…

Green corduroy jeans?

It’s one thing to admit to drug use, another to admit your noobness in using drugs while trying to seem with-it, but MoDo has to return to New York at some point, where the fashion police are as militarized as the real police.

Marijuana use has been proven to do bad things to the brain. But how does MoDo explain a terrible choice she made before her terrible choice to use drugs?

Bryan Preston has been a leading conservative blogger and opinionator since founding his first blog in 2001. Bryan is a military veteran, worked for NASA, was a founding blogger and producer at Hot Air, was producer of the Laura Ingraham Show and, most recently before joining PJM, was Communications Director of the Republican Party of Texas.

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Top Rated Comments   
From another comment site (so not mine): To the surprise of no one, Maureen Dowd is also bad at getting high.
20 weeks ago
20 weeks ago Link To Comment
Frumpy people walking in corduroy is a fire hazard.

Thunder thigh flints can torchlight a shag rug in seconds.

MoDo in a THC stupor...alone, paranoid, confused and ready to lash out any illogically conceived enemies. Huh. She just spent eight hours living in one of her columns.
20 weeks ago
20 weeks ago Link To Comment
Hmmmm. So, Bryan, please have mercy on those of us, your loyal readers, who are a bit slow-witted.

I'm sure it's there somewhere in your article, but you were just too subbtul for me, and I just couldn't figure it out.


What, precisely, is the difference between Maureen Dowd's brain on drugs, and her usual state?




20 weeks ago
20 weeks ago Link To Comment
All Comments   (55)
All Comments   (55)
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From an old David Frye parody of Nixon after smoking marijuana...

Nixon: I'm seeing strange things.

Aide: Mr. President, marijuana doesn't make you hallucinate.

Nixon: Don't tell me! I hallucinate on Dr. Pepper!
19 weeks ago
19 weeks ago Link To Comment
I wonder if munching marijuana gives you the "smokies"?

> "I barely made it from the desk to the bed, where I lay curled up in a hallucinatory state for the next eight hours. I was thirsty but couldn’t move to get water. Or even turn off the lights. I was panting and paranoid..."

That's not MoDo speaking, that's her most recent one-night stand talking about his narrow escape.
19 weeks ago
19 weeks ago Link To Comment
'Green corduroy jeans'. Why do you think MoDo is still single? I mean, who would want to be seen with this woman in public?
19 weeks ago
19 weeks ago Link To Comment
C'mon. MoDo has her faults, but she's never been a bad-looking lady.
19 weeks ago
19 weeks ago Link To Comment
The experience can only do her good.
20 weeks ago
20 weeks ago Link To Comment
That's a bad acid trip lady you dumb moron. I've known 28 kazillion people who smoked 474 kabillion joints over 487 zillion years who've never come close to anything like that. Go smoke a joint instead of experimenting with some high-octane rocket fuel some idiot made out of who knows what. Call a THC blast of cannabinol "marijuana?" Stick with the alcoholism.
20 weeks ago
20 weeks ago Link To Comment
You tell her! lol
20 weeks ago
20 weeks ago Link To Comment
I predict that 25 years from now the millenials who see no harm in marijuana use in society will be blessed with grown children who don't or won't leave the parental nest, and expect their parents to keep up a generous allowance for their weed and beer plus an extra BMW in the driveway. Karma, folks. Until this happens, nothing will convince the "true believers".
20 weeks ago
20 weeks ago Link To Comment
Hunter Thompson on human adrenal gland was funnier.
20 weeks ago
20 weeks ago Link To Comment
In S.F. back in the '80s, the off-duty nurses I knew baked brownies stronger than the bar Mauz ate.
20 weeks ago
20 weeks ago Link To Comment
Only dopes use dope!
20 weeks ago
20 weeks ago Link To Comment
The dopers used to claim "Reality is for people who can't handle drugs".
20 weeks ago
20 weeks ago Link To Comment
Always figured MoDo for a lightweight.
20 weeks ago
20 weeks ago Link To Comment
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