CNN went there today, blaming the Jovan Belcher murder-suicide on a “culture of manliness.” CNN published a column by Democrat Kevin Powell that argues that Belcher’s act was the summit of a too-male culture.
Belcher was a man living in the supersized macho world of football, a world in which many of us American males reside, be it football or not. Too many of us have been taught manhood in a way that is not healthy. Be tough, men do not cry, man up — these are the things I’ve heard my entire life, and I now cringe when I hear this relayed to boys or younger men by teachers, coaches, fathers, mentors and leaders.
That is the problem for so many of us. We do not talk about much of anything, except sports, women and sex. Everything else is routinely ignored. Or repressed. Until we explode.
It’s politically incorrect to suggest that Belcher was living anything but a manly life. But the fact is, he was living in a world most of us dream of reaching, yet he never lived up to his most important responsibility.
Let’s look at his life. Was it manly of him to have a child out of wedlock? Was it manly of him to abuse drugs and alcohol, as he has been reported to have done, especially after he had become a father? Was it manly of him to go on what looks like a jealous rage that ended with him murdering the mother of his child? Was Jovan Belcher’s life a manly life at all?
I will submit to you that it was not. There was nothing manly about Jovan Belcher’s life. A real man takes real responsibility by getting married before having children. A real man does not resort to chemicals to escape from his problems. A real man does not ever become a menace to the mother of his children. Ever.