A Nation of Victims Run by Bureaucrats and Law Enforcement
“That’s what we have become,” I thought, after watching the video that went viral where a 68-year-old bus monitor named Karen Klein is verbally assaulted and by four middle school boys, one of whom even appears to poke at her arm and waist and call her “fatty.” The bus monitor has now received over $600,000 in donations from people who feel bad for her across the country. But we should feel worse for a society that has allowed children and bureaucrats to bully us all into submission. How and why have we done that? It’s a good question and one that will take more than a blog post to solve, but here are my thoughts.
My first question when I look at the video is that the bus is moving, so where is the bus driver? Why did Klein not do anything and ask the driver to stop the bus? Why did she simply cry — which is exactly what these juvenile delinquent-acting boys wanted? Why does no one stand up to these kids? Because no one is allowed to anymore. Bureaucrats who can’t make decisions have rendered many adults (and children) helpless. Bombarded with self-esteem programs to make kids feel good at any cost and adults told never to yell at a child lest they be charged with abuse, the bullies and miscreants rise to the top without consequences until they do something so awful that they encounter legal consequences.
Look around the web and you will see people who blame the parents: they raised the misbehaving monsters, some say. But parents and adults in general have had their authority usurped for the last 50 years by society and the “helping professions” and in turn, child protective agencies and law enforcement who might take your kid or charge you as a sex offender if you do what they perceive to be wrong and who knows what that is?
The problem is the belief that an ideologue who has spent a few years steeped in wacky academic theories is a better source of advice than thousands of years of experience embodied in the culture.
What Ms. Nelson and others are advocating is the psychic and legal equivalent of “Danegeld” As R. Kipling stated, “…And that is called paying the Dane-geld; But we’ve proved it again and again, That if once you have paid him the Dane-geld You never get rid of the Dane.” Ms. Nelson doesn’t want to understand – mooks and thugs don’t care about “understanding” and “emotional connection”; they care about power, power achieved through fear.
A week after the bus monitor story broke there was a new story from the next door county in Upstate, NY of a bus driver who was punished because she stopped the bus and punished a misbehaving child. I will get back to you if I can find the link for it.
Mixed feelings with this post. I’ve read “Positive Discipline” and the much more painful “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk.”
I’m in the middle of a divorce, precisely because I disciplined my son by jacking him up. No marks, cuts, bruises, bumps and never had any in his life (from discipline). School became involved when my wife talked about it to a busy-body. Bing-bang-boom, wife gets talked into/shamed into divorce, files a PFA, and our marriage of 12 years is over.
So, in therapy, I’m introduced to both books. “Positive Discipline” has techniques that can work, but only with older children who already have a sense of respect for authority. Using it on toddlers or most pre-teens is, well, stupid. It relies heavily on a child’s acceptance of logical consequences and they aren’t as developed in younger children. Pre-teens who have advanced cognitive development can benefit, but this is really a teen discipline method.
And it would be utterly wasted if the first ten+ years were undisciplined by conventional methods. The successes shown reflect children raised with traditional discipline who have the cognitive ability to reason out hypotheticals and agree to terms of contracts, both ahead of time and at the time of an infraction. How many honestly think a five year old can process those concepts?
My oldest son responded to “Positive Discipline” because he had traditional discipline prior. I think the problem is that folks tend to look for a one-size-fits-all parenting technique, instead of shifting gears as the child matures and tailoring techniques to the child’s development. As adults, we still witness this when you find parents who can’t treat their children as peers and still think grown men and women need to be lectured, shamed, etc. Failing to transition to peer relationships later in life can lead to the same alienated parent-child relationship.
So, I wouldn’t toss the whole concept of “Positive Discipline” out. I’m also not suggesting all parents can employ it. Parents are different, kids are different. Nelson is simply proud of her work, but is a little too in love with her “child” that she can’t see it’s not applicable to every child at every stage.
RTP, thanks for your insight. I salute you for joining the discussion here despite the pain. I agree with you, that there is no “system” or “method” which is appropriate for each kid in each situation throughout their childhood. There are many which are effective for certain kids/parents, in certain times/situations. I have 2 kids and 4 step-kids myself, and I find the only fool-proof method is to pray for guidance beforehand. I still read, ask trusted mentors, and discuss with my wife, but when I remember to pray first it can make a big difference. Sometimes I’m talking a simple prayer such as “God, I’m not really sure how to handle this, but I love my kid and I need your help.” It works wonders.
Not to RTP specifically, but just to continue my thoughts:
In a situation like this, there is usually a process rather than a specific action that needs to happen. FIRST, boys of that age must face consequences which both discourage the behavior and show society that it is not acceptable. Natural consequences are good, but parental supplements are often required! (not consequences based on shame). THEN and only then does the connecting come. Here is why. An adult taking the time to enforce a thoughtful and appropriate consequence for a teenager is in fact demonstrating that the teenager IS SIGNIFICANT. Ignoring or rationalizing the behavior actually sends a message that “nothing you do matters”.
Wake-up call to every married person who reads this blog – ESPECIALLY the women:
If you have even the slightest desire to stay married, it is inexcusably disloyal to yap about anything personal that goes on in your home. NEVER bitch about your husband to anyone else. Ever.
That goes double for bad-mouthing your husband to the authorities. They make their living by breaking up marriages. That’s their bread and butter.
I say this as a happily married woman.
I’ve been thinking about getting myself a fake lesbian girlfriend as a “beard” so that the politically correct authoritarians will leave me be. These days closets are for the heterosexual married couples.
I don’t remember who said it, and I’m paraphrasing, but human beings are born amoral little bastards and it’s up to parents to teach them to be moral. There is no “understanding their feelings” there is only “this is right, this is wrong and wrong will get you a knock upside the head, capiche?
“amoral little bastards”
Many of the liberals I know angrily insist that children are naturally benevolent little angels. These clueless fools are getting the society they deserve. Unfortunately, the rest of us are also getting it.
Dr. Smith’s rant proves once again that there’s crazy…and then there’s PJM crazy.
And then there is idiot lefty punk crazy. You’re certainly no patriot and 4/93 must be when you were born, so you’re just a regular 19 year old fount of wisdom. The 26th Am. may be the worst mistake America has made in recent times; people who are so dependent that they have to stay on their parents’ health insurance until 26 certainly should have no voice in government – or much of anything else.
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that you haven’t got any kids.
There are always people on both extremes who seem good and bad, as if it is their natures; but who knows what causes that and how many there are? Most people seem in between and the old saying “give someone an inch and they’ll take a mile” is perhaps indicative of old school common sense that sees people through a pragmatic lens.
“Lord of the Flies” delved into this area. The end game is this, boundaries must be set and taught, and lessons meted out when necessary, end of story. This will encompass what it needs to.
I’m not sure how much good it does to try “connecting” with thirteen-year-old boys who act up. When I acted up at thirteen and someone asked me why, my answer was always “I don’t know.” And I really didn’t. There was no logical reason for my behavior. It was not the effect of any identifiable cause. It was spontaneous. When I said “I don’t know,” I really meant, “Because my friend were doing it and it made me feel good.” That’s it – no profound motivations, no dysfunctional family, no response to a lack of something meaningful in my life. We teased that kid or threw that rock or stole that wood from the construction site…just for the sheer hell of it. It was fun.
When apprehended, I received appropriate punishment. This was before time outs and counseling became the norm. Gradually, I formed the habit of not doing things that would get me punished. I have no idea whether a mutually respectful dialog with a parent or authority figure would have had the same result. I think it depends on the kid. I already respected (and feared) my parents and the school principal, so their words carried a lot of weight. I might have acquiesced if they had asked, pretty-please. A kid with no respect (or fear) of parents or authorities might see them as no threat and continue misbehaving.
A lot of wisdom here, and good memory of your early teens!
I’m guessing that my parents would have helped me learn and grow from that mistake by weeding Mrs. Klein’s garden for a few weeks, along with whatever else she needed doing, by having me sit in my room reflecting on how I could have made better choices on the bus ride, and writing a few hundred words on what I had learned. Together with a few months of serious grounding, including loss of phone (there was no internet), TV and record player privileges.
If my father had received word of my behaving like that he would have beat my butt with his belt until I couldn’t sit down. I defy anyone who would say that I did not benefit from such an upbringing. And I grew up in a town in which behavior such as filmed on that bus was never seen, although lesser things did happen and were dealt with as stated above.
As I watched the bus video the first time, I thought to myself that their parents needed to have whipped those kids’ little butts when they were little, and that somebody needs to do the same now. I’ve raised two boys and they were different as night and day – one kid never needed any corporal punishment at all, and the other laughed at any other type of discipline. They both turned out OK and I believe both at age 13 had they been present on the bus would have felt enough human compassion to beat the living crap out of the snot-nosed monsters tormenting the old lady.
Spank the hell out of them. Oh that’s right, the state says it’s child abuse.
I hate to be fussy, but I was a copy editor for twenty years. PJM has marvelous editorials, but because there is no editing (even for nationally known writers) and everyone, even the very best, needs an editor, PJM is loaded with errors.
“The bus monitor has now received over $600,000 in donations from people who feel bad for her across the country,” should read, “The bus monitor has now received over $600,000 in donations from people across the country who feel bad for her.” A big difference.
Websites and even newspapers no longer have editors because they have to pay them.
Mike: Your point about professional editors may ultimately be correct, but I don’t think the supporting example cited in your post is very convincing. Helen’s formulation reads as perfectly grammatical to my ear, and I’m fairly certain most others here would agree. Is it possible you’re being a little harsh? Cheers. -Joseph
Diagram the sentence and you’ll see why he wants to change the order of the modifying clauses. ‘Course, if you’re much under 60 the odds are you’ve never heard of diagramming sentences.
I believe that making sure you understand what words and clauses modify which is a fundamental necessity in making or enforcing contracts. Yet, we now have going on three generations of people making and enforcing contracts, including the lawyers and judges that interpret them, who have no idea how to analyze a sentence. When I came back to the Executive Branch in ’99 I acquired my first non-’Boomer subordinates and I found that English was almost as dead as Latin.
I’d like to brush up on sentence diagraming. Know anyplace on the net?
Frankly, all I remember any more is the broad strokes and bright colors. I have a ’72 Harcourt-Brace College English textbook that is my good and faithful servant, though I don’t go to much trouble for grammar, punctuation, and syntax on blogs and my punctuation is sometimes shameful. Anything I write for a byline is another matter and I find the key is to have someone else read it. Even if they’re not a skilled editor, if they have trouble understanding something, you probably need to work on it.
A quick Ask search turned up this site which, while basic, is informative: http://homeworktips.about.com/od/englishhomework/ss/diagram.htm
A lot of the terminology has changed since I got sent home with 100 sentences to diagram overnight back in the ’60s. My daughter got a little real grammar instruction in middle school in the early ’80s. My stepkids got none; they learned English the same way illiterate societies learn a language; totally by rote. I tried to correct and teach them, but it was “too BO-ring.”
Sending kids to public school now is not much better than letting them grow up in the yard with the dogs.
As a child of the Greatest Generation, and a member of the least great generation, I only need to look at the offspring of the generation before and after the baby boom.
My parents were raised in a society that involved woodsheds for “structured teaching”. My children and grand children were raised under the new feel good self esteem nonsense method of discipline.
When I was growing up, if my neighbor saw me acting like these kids, he/she would have kicked my ass, then called my dad and he would have kicked my ass again.
Of course when I was that age, rather than crying the adult on the bus that was there to maintain order would have jumped up and kicked my ass. Not that we needed an extra adult because the driver would have pulled the bus over and tossed my ass on the side of the road, then my dad would have kicked my ass for having to drive down to pick me up. Next day would have been spent writing a letter of apology to the driver.
And if I complained to an adult authority with the school or the government, they would have told me to not do that any more. Rather than arresting my Dad or the bus driver.
When I grew up, there weren’t buses. You walked to and from school.
We didn’t even have book bags. You carried them in your hands.
Yeah, I’m older than dirt.
As was recognised by some back about 50 or 60 years ago, children go through stages of development. Different rates, slightly different routes for each kid, and very different routes boys/girls. Basically, little kids a little animals (note how much alike kids and puppies are, and how littles will crawl into any enclosed space they find; crawl into a burrow instinct, and make “forts” when they get a little older). Other stages, not in order are “tribal savage” “barbarian” “hunter gatherer” etc. That “stages” idea was why Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts were developed. And it worked, for a while.
And, treating all boys as though they are little girls, and older girls as though they are casterated boys is really stupid.
It used to be called “providing an outlet” for their behavior. Instead of repressing their urges and actings-out, you provided a structured, disciplined, constructive way for kids to indulge in them. Back in the day, there were lots of outlets. Today, maybe not so many. A lot of the things I used to do when I was a kid are now impractical or forbidden.
Yup. I’d modify that to “providing an outlet for /instinctive/ behavior”. Logic is not relevant. Kids (girls as well as boys) are going to react in certain ways to certain stimulus at certain stages of development.
Use that and raise a civilized kid, fight it and raise a monster. “Modern” child care fights human nature, so we get monsters.
Or diagnose it as a “behavioral disorder” and drug them into compliance.
The thing about punishment is, it’s usually over quickly. You take your medicine and you know not to do something anymore. These other methods seem to require constant monitoring of behavior; tiny, incremental corrections. And drugs.
The weird thing is, most parents I see in public these days don’t seem to correct their children at all. Small kids get to run around acting like monkeys, disturbing other people, and their parents don’t care. Criticize this and you’ll hear the same defense ever time: “Oh, he/she is just a child.” What does that even mean?
I can finally say with reasonable confidence that I have survived raising three stepkids in the modern school and child welfare environment; two are gone and married and living on their own – at least as much on their own as young people seem to these days, and the last is finally able to pee in a bottle and is working regularly at a good job for decent wages, though I’ll admit there remains some doubt with that one. His sense for the shallow end of the gene pool is every bit as acute as that of a dying salmon seeking its home stream to breed and die – and he has about the same motives.
With the experience of the last twenty-odd years, if one of my buddies came to me, said he was involved with a woman with three kids, and asked my advice, I’d ask if the biodad was still alive. If the answer were yes, I’d tell my buddy to sleep with her one more time for old times’ sake and run like Hell. Children of divorce learn to viciously play the divorced parents and the step parent against each other. My stepkids hated going to their dads’ place for any length of time; he was much less well off than we and, especially with the boys, had authority that I couldn’t come close to exercising without the threat of law enforcement action or at least quality time with the nice lesbian social workers. My wife knew this, but whenever there was some beef, all they had to do was say in three part harmony, “We hate you and want to go live with our dad,” and she would melt and start shopping for castles and Ferraris to give them so they’d love her again. If I said “NO,” the Mommy Court of Appeals immediately convened and the judgement always went to the complainant(s). And if she said “NO,” that was merely the point where negotiations began. So, first, there is the problem of the modern enabling mommy.
There there are the schools and the lesbian social workers. The schools actively propagandize that all adults are brutal beasts who just want to hurt and sexually molest children. Lots of “hover parents” encourage those beliefs as well. Some years ago I was out looking for my runaway cat. Still in my car and on the other side of the street, I stopped, rolled down the window, and asked two young girls on the sidewalk if they’d seen a gray cat; one started blowing a whistle and the other started screaming “Strange-Danger” as they ran away without answering. This is madness!
I always tried to maintain the illusion of a family so we always tried to have sit down dinners and have everyone recount their day. Of course the recounts was usually, “same old,” but its the process. One evening the youngest, the one still with us at 26 as of today, did his best imitation of Belushi in Animal House in the foodfight scene, spraying his brother and sister and the whole table with a mouthful of food. Back when the World was sane, that would have gotten his a** beat and that would have been the end of that crap forever, but not in today’s world. But, the evil stepfather sent him to his room without any more supper. My wife always made lunches for them to take to school, though as often as not they forgot them or just didn’t eat them and cleaning the composted lunches out of the backpacks was a regular rite. This particular day, after the brutal punishment of the night before, the little brat forgot his lunch. So, he was whining and snivelling at school and the teacher asked him what was wrong and he said he was hungry. Upon further examination it was disclosed that he was hungry because his evil parents wouldn’t let him eat and it was a punishment. Cue the flashing blue lights and the lesbian social workers.
Long story short: I know a lot more about government and law than CPS cops and lesbian social workers and after I credibly threatened to take their jobs and houses away from them, they decided that maybe the kid’s story was factually challenged and dropped it. That said, if I’d been some Joe Blow who didn’t know the government game better than they did, they would have hauled me off to jail over sending a kid to bed without supper. In today’s system if a kid – or a woman – accuses a man of something, he is guilty until proven innocent. The reason the Country is falling apart is that it is being run by stupid, emotion-driven women, communists in the “helping professions,” and feral children. I’m glad I’m old enough that I’ll probably miss the gotterdamerung.
“In today’s system if a kid – or a woman – accuses a man of something, he is guilty until proven innocent.”
100% true.
All it took were verbal accusations and I was evicted from my house, my firearms were confiscated, I was under threat of jail if I contacted my sons, and it was weeks before I could counter the accusations.
The sole accusation that could be even slightly substantiated was over a year earler. My son fell and required stitches. My wife took him to the hospital.
During the two separate investigations (occurring at the same time because she used one to launch the other with another agency), I tried to make the point that at no time did anyone mention or suspect abuse. In a hospital, my wife was certainly “safe” to voice her concerns. My son was separated and asked. Nothing about abuse. Even without the victim stating anything, if the medical professional suspects abuse, they must report. Nothing.
Her accusation, one year later, was enough. PFA upheld.
I’ve since won more time with my older son (the one I was accused of abusing). My wife is mentally ill. Her friends manipulated her and she manipulated the system and turned it against my family.
What was most disgusting was that from the Sheriff’s office to the prosecutor for the PFA, they all seemed to see it was B/S, but said their hands were tied.
In a way, I’m one of the lucky ones. People can see my wife is not right in the head. PFA will remain in place and I will forever be an “abuser” in the eyes of my state and nation. But I have the sympathies of the bureaucrats. Yippee.
In my state almost all divorces are initiated by the woman who simultaneously files a complaint for divorce, an accusation of domestic violence and a request for a writ, and an allegation of child abuse and/or sexual molestation of all minor children.
When Wife v. 1.0 and I split, I didn’t get the child abuse/sexual molestation because my daughter hated her mother and was with me when the wife split. I did get the domestic violence accusation and the writ. Fortunately, I had a good attorney who asked, “Well, do you want to come within 100 feet of her?” I said, “No,” to which he replied, “then why waste time and money fighting it.” All this stuff is to first disorient and anger the man and then to deprive him of his savings and livelihood. When I was with labor relations for the State, we made the conscious choice to simply ignore the federal law requiring us to disarm any commissioned officer who got a DV writ, effectively depriving him of his job or causing us to pay him as a LEO while working him as a clerk or something. Since any b**ch that wants to can have a DV writ served on a man, and if she calls the cops to the house, he gets arrested and gets a DV writ just on her say so, we weren’t going to deprive the guys of their livelihood until there was an adversarial proceeding that issued a writ. Interestingly, as common as the naked assertion DV writs are, the judge issued permanent or long term writs are quite rare. The divorce lawyers and the nice lesbians at the women’s shelter can fix up any angry woman with the naked DV writ, but getting the permanent or long term one takes some expensive lawyering and runs at least the risk of a perjury charge if not something more serious, so the twits rarely even try for those. Some days if left to my own druthers, I’d make marriage illegal and one whorehouse per square mile the mandatory minimum.
Dear G-d, Mr. Chance, I feel so sorry for you. I hope you get your reward eventually for all the BS you’ve had to suffer through…
Thank you for the kind thougts, but it was no worse than any other root canal. I’m a lot smarter than her or her lawyer, so other than the bad effects on my daughter, the whole thing was really just an inconvenience. The only thing that really bothered me was how little it bothered me.
Art,
Just to clarify, the PFA is not permanent. It expires in a few months. Again, to show how broken the system is, I’ve gained additional time with the son I “abused” while an active PFA is in place (including unsupervised visits). In fact, in a month and a half, I expect to have a binding agreement that leads to joint custody. The PFA expires at the end of November and I think that will be about the time I gain joint custody.
However, I’ll remain on the rolls of abusers. It’s always there, will never be expunged.
Something that helps me maintain my cool during this is that everytime our lawyers meet, the fields shifts in my direction. Every time.
I can personally vouch for much of this family dynamic (except for the specifics of the Animal House food fight scene and the resulting visit from school/CPS). I am a father of two and a step-father of four. If there is a lousy dad in the picture for your step-kids or potential step-kids, and if he is local and wants to interfere with your home, he can and will with the assistance of the schools and the courts. (My wife has been to court 13 times in our 7 years of marriage. After several tens of thousands of dollars of lawyers, we learned to do the filings ourselves. We figured we could lose in court for free, rather than lose in court for $15,000 a pop).
Art, do you live in California?
No, Alaska; the laws are just as bad as CA and the enforcement is worse, at least in the urban areas, because Alaska is so much smaller and the Kid Nazis can pay more attention to you.
My sister and brother-in-law have the connect with their feelings approach to parenting their kids.My sister is a P.H.D. psychology but really effed in the head. Their six year old boy routinely tells them to shut up and says they are stupid.He may have a point there but still shouldn’t say it.
A little while ago, his dad wanted him to do something and this little bundle of sunshine said ” SCREW YOU,DAD ” in front of everyone. His father just laughed it off.
Not. Whether it’s my own children or a child I’m in charge of, my response to something like that is “That is not the correct answer. The correct answer is “Yes, Mom” (or “yes, Mrs C___”) After a few times of that, it’s “First you say ‘Yes, Mom’ and then you do it”. Use fingers (one, then two) to accompany. If you get the infamous “I don’t have to!!” I answer that yes, they do (for another child, I point out that their parents paid money specifically so that I could tell them what to do). I’m a volunteer so I don’t have to let any child continue, and I warn all other parents ahead of time that I have a personal policy of losing power struggles with them. Any parent who doesn’t like the way I run things has just gotten herself a new volunteer position (The email goes something like “Mrs McGillicuddy has some fabulous new ideas on how to run the scout troop, and I’m struggling to run meetings so we’re looking forward to her fresh energy at the next meeting!”)
Some other useful phrases: If you don’t eat, I won’t be hungry.
If you goof off and don’t get ready, you’ll be in trouble for being out of uniform, the kids will laugh that you went to school in your pajamas, and your feet will be cold and wet because it’s raining outside.
You only have to pick up the toys you want to keep.
If playing isn’t fun, you might as well work.
Do you really want me to solve your problems? Do you ever like my solution? (Take fought-over item and put it atop the fridge or something)
I expect you to make better decisions than that.
“Even so, she suggests that the parents of the bullies embark on a four-step process to set aside their anger, take the time to emotionally connect with the misbehaving kids, find the reason behind the misdeeds, and then help the kids learn and grow from their mistakes.”
It appears to me that this is the kind of discipline those kids have already had and it didn’t work. The reason behind the misdeeds is pretty clear: They’re spoiled and have never been taught to respect others.
But, as a sometime school bus driver, I see another issue here. Unruly kids were probably the reason there was a monitor on the bus in the first place. Why weren’t she and the bus driver given proper training on dealing with behavior like this? Neither she or the bus driver exercised the authority that is part of their jobs. Clearly the school administration shares some blame if they did not better prepare their personnel for handling this type of problem.
I have a son that was tough to raise. When we took him to school, I always told the teacher, that if they had trouble with him, to give me a call. My son , who is now an adult, told me a very interesting insight. He said I never got a call, from a good teacher. Adults either have the kids reedy, or they don’t. If the bus monitor, didn’t gain these hoodlums respect, it was her own fault.
“Maybe these kids were taunting her because of her reluctance to do anything on the bus. If true, that doesn’t make what they did right but it makes it a little more understandable.”
– - – -
(C.V.: I have three kids, the oldest now 22, the youngest 17. All high-spirited, smart, demanding. All with various times of turmoil in their pasts. All of whom are now good, decent, kind, hardworking people with whom I’m glad to be friends and proud to be their parent.)
Kids are born as somewhat slimy empty vessels. Kids become humans through socialization – i.e., through seeing and hearing and experiencing which behaviors are accepted and which are not. They do not know any of this in a vacuum.
Raising a child and training a dog are very similar processes. “No!”, “sit”, “come”, and “let your brother out of the freezer right now” are specific commands that are taught through very rudimentary psychological manipulations that we either learn from others, or work out on our own.
As our kids and dogs get older, they can begin to put these simple individual-circumstance situations together into an overall framework for life. A dog is happier when it’s not being yelled at. So is a child.
Kids have the capacity to build this framework into a much more complex structure than can a dog, obviously. In time, a child will build a structure of morality around this punishment/reward feedback. It will be crude, and it will be subject to amendment as soon as the child can communicate abstract thought, but it serves as our moral foundation.
You had a decent thesis going until you updated with the above thought. No, the kids were NOT mistreating her “because of her reluctance to do anything on the bus.” They were doing it because they COULD. There was no inner moral imperative telling them quietly “this isn’t right. Stop it now.”
This is a failure of basic, primary morality. I would return to dog-training principles and beat them bloody, and then slowly try to bring them up to human standards. Someone, somewhere, skipped a step, and produced some socially polite, school-functioning little animals. You cannot skip those steps.