Washington Post Releases All Of Obama's Shocking College Transcripts

Just kidding. They found a bunch of Democrats to say that Mitt Romney was occasionally a meanie in high school.

Young Mitt pulled pranks. He cut some kid’s messy hair — the kid suspected to be gay, and the story about it coming out the day after the president’s selective embrace of state’s rights is all coincidental — in other words, Mitt as a kid acted as a kid. But he grew up, and put away those childish things. Any kid who never played a prank was never really a kid.

As a young man, but older than high school Mitt, Barry Obama was a street punk who snorted cocaine. That’s a felony, and it would have made it extremely difficult for Obama to obtain a security clearance. Let’s see the Post find out who his dealer was. Let’s see the Post explain his trip to Pakistan. Let’s see the Post do a thorough report on Obama’s relationships with radicals like Bill Ayers and Jeremiah Wright. Heck, let’s see the Post report on Fast and Furious, which is a current and bloody scandal. Let’s see the Post be fair, for once.

Update: Romney doesn’t remember the hair cutting, apologizes for pranks he does remember. But whatever Obama did on the streets of Chicago, stays on the streets of Chicago.