The Real Housewives of Centcom or Who Should Solve Benghazi?

Now we know why the Pentagon was built with five sides — its architect figured out what our military really wanted for its headquarters was not a conventional office building but a theater-in-the-round set for a French bedroom farce with all the doors ready to slam.

I know — not funny.

While history and personal observation provide enough instances of extramarital hanky-panky to keep the average adult, not to mention myriad novelists, filmmakers, and playwrights, busy for several lifetimes, we don’t want to think those tasked with being in charge of our national defense are spending the majority of their leisure hours and who knows what else composing emails to blousy women not their wives, if not jumping in and out of bed with them.

No wonder those poor suckers were stuck in Benghazi with no backup. Who knows where everybody was?

If Republicans were not sufficiently bummed out by the election, they can now be seriously depressed about the state of our nation. Provide for the common defense? How about provide for the common condom. No wonder the Dems were so ginned up about free birth control. It was their way of supporting our troops — the five-star generals, anyway.

John le Carré notwithstanding (remember poor Smiley and Ann?). the last person in our country who should be allowed leeway for adulterous sex is the head of the CIA. I mean, really… haven’t these people read any spy novels?

So where do we go from here, as we live through several seasons of The Real Housewives of Centcom all rolled into one?

Will we ever find out what happened in Benghazi or will the distractions of this military soap opera/reality show be so great that we will never get to the bottom of what is most likely the greatest American political/military scandal since WWII, a scandal, as many have noted, of far more seriousness and dimension than Watergate?

Perhaps if Obama and Holder were themselves caught playing around (separately or together) it would finally get the attention of the mainstream media but, as we recall, it took them months, or was it years, to report, let alone investigate, the execrable activities of one John Edwards, vice-presidential and presidential candidate.

Which leads me to a modest proposal. The people who should be put in charge of unraveling Benghazigate are — ta-dum — the folks at the National Enquirer. They know the terrain, have a much better record for ferreting out the truth than the MSM and are far more courageous, willing to go anywhere (The Beverly Hilton men’s room) and do anything to get the answers.

For it is answers we need and are not getting. At this point we must depend on Dianne Feinstein, a woman whose devotion to democracy and the two-party system was so great she wouldn’t even debate her opponent in this month’s election. A lifetime liberal, will she be unbiased enough to look beyond the sex farce to the reality behind the “reality show”? Well, she is seventy-nine and if not now, when?

Still. I’m not betting on it. Perhaps if Jennifer Griffin at Fox pulls out some more information, maybe she’ll be forced into it. But if not, I’m going with the National Enquirer. They’re just the people to cut through the “fog of war.”